


Novelist

by Skaidridt



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hangyul can't see - but what's new?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-07-28 22:37:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20071750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skaidridt/pseuds/Skaidridt
Summary: Seunyoun is an editor working for an erotic novel publisher.Hangyul is a (former) award-winning writer in debt.Two years after college they meet again at their professor's funeral. Even though Seungyoun is excited to see him again, Hangyul seem to remember all of the former graduates except him.Seungyoun happens to give Hangyul a ride home where he finds out about Hangyul's financial situation. As a solution he offers him to write erotics published by his company.(Featuring Lee Dong Wook who is basically a virtuoso old school erotic novelist.)I swear this is more exciting than it sounds. I just really suck at summaries, help.based on ‘Indigo no Kibun’





	1. Prologue

### September 2030 - prologue

“Did you hear anything from him lately?”  
Hangyul shook his head. His eyes wandered slowly over the mountain ridge outside the window. It was drizzling since the early morning and it didn’t seem as if it would stop anytime soon. 

“He didn’t call or anything?”  
Hearing the word ‘call’ made Hangyul reflexively check his phone but there was no notification. No missed call. It was a quite dumb reaction, considering he had his phone with him all day so he would have noticed if he called.

“Why are you asking?”  
Dong Wook lowered the paper a bit and looked at him. “Hm? They wrote about his company. It seems as if his parents sold all of their holdings. Apparently it’s just the two of them now. Even though the entire executive changed, their stocks are still stable. Business it obviously going well.”

Hangyul shrugs and tossed his phone on to the sofa right next to him. He hadn’t heard of him for months now. Why should he suddenly call just because his parents sold their holdings?  
“He’s maybe just busy.” Dong Wook sighs and went on reading as Hangyul mumbled: “I guess we just grew out of it.”

Dong Wook flipped the paper and hid behind it. “There are things things in life you grow out of but believe me, what you felt for each other was no such thing.”  
Hangyul snorted. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”


	2. hardship

“Just hurry up, we’re late already!” He said and hastened up the stairs.  
“For goodness sake, could you wait? Your legs are too long!” The girl who followed him panted and finally reached Seungyoun who was waiting on the stairhead.  
“It’s not my legs, it’s your shoes. Why didn’t you wear anything more comfortable?”  
Chaeyeon walked past him and adjusted her skirt. “What should I’ve worn instead? Attending my former professors funeral wearing slippers? Great idea, Seungyoun. Really.”

Seungyoun followed her, rolling his eyes. “I’m just saying sneakers or whatever other flats you may have would have been fine as well.”  
She stopped in front of the door and turned around. There were already plenty of people inside the building so she wasn’t really keen on fighting about nonsense with him inside.  
“Why did I have to show up with you out of all graduates?”  
“Cause I live quite close and you asked me to pick you up.” She grunted.  
“Just shut up.”  
Then she opened the door and they stepped inside. 

The room was already packed with people, all of them wearing black and lining up in front of the picture of an old senior man. The picture was help in classy black and white and showed their former professor wearing his usual suit and thick glasses. Whoever was first in line bowed once towards the picture and once towards the people in line. Seungyoun who never attended a funeral before observed their actions curiously until Chaeyeon grabbed his suit's sleeve and dragged him towards a table near the entrance.  
Chaeyeon handed her a plain envelope.  
“My condolences to your family.” She said politely and signed her name down in a huge book. Seungyoun simply followed her example and wrote his name right beneath hers.

The second he is done, Chaeyeon grabbed his suit once more and dragged his head down to her face. She looked directly towards the line.  
“Isn’t that Lee Hangyul?”  
Seungyoun squinted. “Who?”  
Chaeyeon pointed at a guy who was maybe the fourth person in line. Besides all the other people in front and behind him, he didn’t look sad or upset, he just kept a straight, nearly bored face. A pair of round tenuous glasses rested on his nose. His hair looked a little bit unkempt as if he just hurried to make it in time. Yet the rest of his appearance didn’t seem last minute at all. His suit was ironed and fit well.  
“You’re right. It’s him!” Seungyoun said and marveled about the fact Chaeyeon recognized him so easily.  
“He was the only one we didn’t have any contact information for.”

They got in line. As they waited for their turn, Seungyoun couldn’t take his eyes off the ruffled head a few people in front of him. He was still surprised Hangyul showed up.  
“I had kept in touch with most of the people in our literature seminar even after we all graduated except him.”  
“You didn’t manage to track down the most famous among all of us?” He joked. “I definitely remember you being more determined and passionate.”  
Chaeyeon did a step back and stepped on his foot. “Shut up!”

After the ceremony they left the main hall with all the other people. Chaeyeon immediately started talking animatedly to some of her old professors who seemed to attend the funeral as well, while Seungyoun leaned against a wall and waited for her.  
His gaze drifted over the numerous people. He yawned. Yes, it might appeared rude but it got quite late and he had to show up at work tomorrow so he was actually tired for a reason. Fortunately, his fatigue disappeared as he saw that same unkempt head and the round glasses he’d seen before, leaving through a glass door on the opposite side of the room. Seungyoun hurried after him.  
“Seungyoun, do you remember-“ Chaeyeon said as he made his way past her through the crowd but he didn’t answer her. 

He reached the door but before he stepped outside he stopped and took a second to calm his excitement. He never thought he would get the opportunity to talk to Hangyul again.

The younger man leaned against a pillar. He was just about to lighten a cigarette.  
Seungyoun took a deep breath and joined him. Hangyul’s back facing him, he didn’t know what to do or say so he just stood next to him quietly. 

At first Hangyul didn’t even notice him, then after a few seconds, he offered Seungyoun his lighter in silence. His face still as straight as it has been before, he didn’t seem to recognize him.  
Seungyoun looked at the red bic lighter, then at Hangyul and finally his mind caught up. He quickly pulled out his package of Marlboro and let Hangyul lighten his cigarette.

They stood next to each other without saying a word. Halfway through the smoke Seungyoun regained his speech eventually.  
“Lee Hangyul.” He regained his usual smile. “I didn’t think you’d come. It’s been a while.”

Hangyul paused to think. His hand stopped halfway between rest and lips. He squinted looking at Seungyoun who still smiled at him in-between puffs.  
As Hangyul finally said something it wasn’t what Seungyoun expected.

“Who are you?”  
Seungyoun started. “Seungyoun. Cho Seungyoun! We were in the same literature seminar two years ago.”  
Hangyul tilted his head. “Really?”  
“Don’t you remember me?”  
“No, sorry.”  
Just this moment Chaeyeon stepped out the entrance hall and joined them. Seemed like she ended her nostalgic chat.  
“Hangyul!” She tapped on his shoulder soo he’d turn around. “Long time no see. I didn’t expect you to be here.” She smiled and his eyes lit up a bit as he recognized her.  
“Chaeyeon! Good to see you.”

Seungyoun looked from one to the other and back in disbelief. “You must be kidding me!”

“You’re the only one we couldn’t get in touch with so we’re worried about you.”  
“I saw this obituary in the newspaper so that’s how I knew.” He puffed. "The professor was a great mentor to me. I thought I should’ve come.”  
“You really were his favorite student.”  
Seungyoun finished his cigarette and disposed it into the ashtray.  
Chaeyeon quickly looked back into the hall before speaking up to both of them.  
“Before I forget: There’s gonna be dinner down the road if you’d like to join. All our upperclassmen and professors are meeting up there. Are you coming?”

“I’m sorry I have to pass.” Hangyul said, also getting rid off his cigarette. “I gotta go. It was nice seeing you.” With those words he simply left.

They were looking after him.  
“He doesn’t remember me.” Seungyoun mumbled.  
“Are you coming?” Chaeyeon looked at him eagerly.  
“Listen, I’m really tired and I have to be at the publisher early tomorrow and-“  
He was about to say no but then he saw her face and sighed. He also hadn’t seen his former professors for a bit over two years and there would probably be alcohol as well so he let her rope him into it.

***

“Didn’t you read his book back then?”  
Seungyoun coughed and lowered his pine.  
“Yeah I remember him taking it everywhere! Even to science classes.”  
Chaeyeon laughed loudly. Her cheeks were colored a dark red due to the amount of alcohol she had. “I didn’t knew you were reading that much!”  
“Nobody would have thought, he was such a party boy.”, Hitomi hit his shoulder with her fist. The small woman with the round adorable face was sincerely much stronger than she appeared on the outside.  
Seungyoun shook his head. “Neither one of you really knew me back then.”  
“Yeah cause we thought we already did. You didn’t seem much like a deep person at all. Rich parents, like to party and somehow still managed to graduate with a good score. That’s who you were.”  
“Well, thanks for that.” He took another long sip. 

Hitomi picked up a fry and used it to point at Seungyoun. “Were you aware who wrote the book you were reading?”  
He rolled his eyes. “Of course, Hitomi. His name was written on it.”  
“I heard he won an award?” The speed with which she jumped from one topic to another didn’t slow down a single bit since he last saw her.  
“Yeah he did. I guess it wasn’t just one tho. I heard he received a proper amount of money.” Chaeyeon said and reached out for the fries.  
Hitomi propped up her head and traced the rim of her glass with a finger. She took some time to think in which Seungyoun finished his beer, before she said: “You guys think he’s still single?”  
“Goodness, Hitomi!” Chaeyeon whined. “You serious?”  
“What?” Hitomi raised her hands in defense. “I’m just saying, if he’s single I wouldn’t mind dating him. Or even if he’s taken … a small affair doesn’t hurt, right?”  
“Ough, tacky!” Chaeyeon shook her head.  
“He used to be a very humble man back then.”  
“You had a crush on him?”  
“I was with Yuvin, don’t you remember?”

Seungyoun pushed back his chair and grabbed his coat. “I’m out. You two have fun.”  
“Hey hey, wait!” Chaeyeon leaned over the table to hold on to his coat. “I thought you’re giving me a ride?”  
Seungyoun fussed. “Can’t you just take the train home? I shouldn’t even drive myself at this state.”  
Hitomi tapped on his back. “You’ll be fine, it’s just one beer!”  
“Since when did you become so reckless, Hitomi?”  
He waved and turned around.  
“And how am I supposed to get home?” Chaeyeon shouts after him.  
“Train!” He returns as leaving through the door.

While he was rummaging his pockets for his car keys standing in the drizzle, his mind wandered off to the book they were talking about. Hangyul must have written it within one year since he received the Hankook Ilbo Literary Award for it. He was nearly the youngest who ever won it.  
Even though everyone in their seminar knew about the book he wrote, just a few took the time to actually read it. Seungyoun himself never actually spoke to someone about it. 

He opened the car door and got in. Sitting behind the steering wheel he took a few deep breaths to sober up a bit. In those days he wanted to be writer himself. He never told anyone yet he read a huge amount of books because only those who read a lot would become great writers, right? That’s what he thought.

However, as he was done reading Hangyul’s work, he angrily tossed it aside. Everything he wanted to write was in that book. Every single take he had planned on writing was already written by him. And he also got an award. 

Jealousy took over his body for the next few weeks and every time he saw Hangyul in that literature seminar, he faced away from him. 

Heading home, his car nearly found the way all by itself. Seungyoun assumed he just drove that route way too often. Maybe he should take the subway from time to time. To save some gas.  
He stopped at a red light and took an automatic look to the left, as he saw him. He didn’t have to check twice. He immediately recognized the unkempt head of his.

Rain pattered on the windshield as he pulled over right next to Hangyul.  
Rain fell into the car as he opened the door and stepped out with one foot.  
“Hangyul? What are you doing here?”  
The addressed stopped and turned around. “Oh.” He seemed to think before continue speaking just as if he’d forgot his name. Again.  
“Seungyoun. Cho Seungyoun. What are you doing out here? It’s late!”“I’m walking home.” He said loudly.

A distance of roughly five meters and a hedge separated them but none of them seemed to make a move of coming over. They just low-key shouted through the rain.  
Hangyul who wasn’t carrying an umbrella or wearing a coat was already soaked.  
“Why are you walking? It’s raining.”  
“I don’t have any money to pay the ticket.” Hangyul shrugged baldly.

Seungyoun frowned. An award winning writer who couldn’t afford a subway ticket? They stood in the rain for another few second and just as Hangyul was about to continue his way home, Seungyoun made him get into the car.  
“Get in the car, I’ll take you home.”  
“It’s fine, I’ll just walk.”  
“Just get in already. I don’t want you to die out here.”

***

“It’s Seungyoun, right?” Hangyul gazed out of the window as they took the city highway. The street lights reflecting in his glasses.  
Seungyoun chuckled. “You don’t remember anything, don’t you?”  
“I’m sorry.”

“What do you do for a living?”  
Seungyoun took a second before he answered. “I’m an editor for erotic novels at Hwang-geum, inc.”  
Hangyul raised his eyebrows. “So you’re into that?”  
“No.” Seungyoun sighed. “I just couldn’t get a job anywhere else, so I ended up being a full time employee at the place where I worked part-time.”  
“But it’s still pretty amazing. You even bought a car.” Hangyul said and knocked on the window slightly.  
Seungyoun smiled embarrassed. “It’s a company car. It’s just borrowed.”  
He took the exit.  
“A few days ago I got kicked out by my girlfriend.”  
“Huh?”  
“I’m staying at the company dorm now.” Seungyoun said. “Isn’t it funny?”  
Hangyul didn’t say anything.

After fifteen minutes during which Seungyoun held a monologue about their time in college, Hangyul interrupted him.  
“You can pull into that driveway over there.”  
“Huh? I’m just dropping you off.”  
Hangyul looked directly looked at him for the first time since he entered the car. “I think you should stay overnight. It got really late and it’s the least I can do in return.”  
Seungyoun gazed through the window. “You’re living in that house over there?”  
Hangyul opened the car door. “Yeah, it’s mine.”

Seungyoun dropped his jaw. “You bought a house? A real house?”  
Hangyul shrugged. “Apparently. Are you coming or you wanna sleep in the car?”  
“Wait you actually mean it?”  
Hangyul just closed the door, walked around the car and turned around at the entrance of his house.  
Seungyoun pulled into the parking lot and exited the car. “Goodness I finally get to shower!”

***

“Whoa, it’s actually neat and tidy!” Seungyoun said as he entered flat. Hangyul turned around raising an eyebrow. “Seriously?”  
“Dude, you showed up at a funeral with ruffled hair. How was I supposed to know what it would look like in here?”  
Hangyul reflexively went with his hand through his hair and sighed. “You could have told me earlier.”  
Seungyoun took off his coat and looked around. “The place seems to be pretty spacious. Are you living here alone?”  
Hangyul got out of his jacket and tossed it on the sofa. “Yeah. If you can pay rent I wouldn’t mind you moving in. I figure you’re too busy to go house hunting and living in the companies dorm doesn’t sound very appealing either.”  
“It really is closer to the office. Oh, look at that!” He stepped closer to the shelf and pulled out the book Hangyul wrote during college. “So many memories with this.” He leaved through it.  
Hangyul stopped taking off his tie and quietly scanned the book. Then he said: “Shower. It’s the right door next to the entrance. Just use any bath towels. I’ll get you dry clothes to change.”  
“Can I?”  
“Yeah sure.”  
Seungyoun put the book back to its old place. “Thanks a lot! I’m freezing.”

Hangyul sat down on the sofa, a drink in his hand and stared at the book's back. That one work that got him so much fame yet also so much hurt. He took a sip and breathed out deeply. What a day. Leaning back and closing his eyes he tried to remember Seungyoun but failed amazingly. He had no idea or picture of him whatsoever. 

He closed his eyes and nearly dozed off, as screams woke him up.  
“Hangyul? Hangyul!”  
He twitched. “What is it?”  
“Hangyul, come here!” You could clearly hear the shock in Seungyoun’s voice.  
Hangyul put down his drink calmly and got up. “Hurry! Hangyul?”  
“Goodness you’re noisy. What's wrong with you?” He opened the bathroom door and found Seungyoun’s head sticking out from behind the shower curtain with which he was covering the rest of his body. Water was running and Hangyul assumed he was holding the shower head as far away from himself as possible.  
“What is it?”“There is no hot water coming out at all.” Seungyoun’s eyes opened wide in shock.  
“Right. I forgot to tell you.”, he said soberly.“What?” Seungyoun’s voice tumbled.  
“There is no hot water. The water heater is broken.” Hangyul shrugged.  
“What?? Why don’t you just get a new one?”  
“It costs a lot to buy a new heater.” Seungyoun didn’t trust his ears. He must be kidding.  
“You wanna tell me you’re an award-winning writer and you can’t afford buying a new heater??”  
“Just don’t drench yourself entirely.” Hangyul instructed him, already turning around again. “Wash yourself little by little. It won’t feel as cold.”  
“Are you for real? That can’t be-“ Seungyoun was about to let go a whole rant but Hangyul already had closed the door behind him. He wasn’t awake enough to deal with Seungyoun at this point.

***

Seungyoun stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in a white t-shirt he had partly tucked into a pair of black sweatpants. Hangyul borrowed him both of it. Soothing jazzy music filled the room. Seemed like he had put on a record in the corner. Very old-fashioned, Seungyoun thought. But it honestly quite fit his appearance. Hangyul still sat on the sofa by the window. He was wearing an oversized knitted sweater and sweatpants. Glasses resting on his messy hair.  
“Okay just because I managed to finish it, doesn’t mean I’m gonna do it again.”  
Hangyul looked up from his drink. “Ehm, alright?”  
Seungyoun pointed at the sink. “May I?”  
Hangyul shrugged. “You can also pour yourself a drink if you like. There’s more in the cupboard.”  
Seungyoun shook his head while he was looking for a glass. “Water is fine. I already had a few beers after the funeral with Chaeyeon and Hitomi. You remember Hitomi?”  
He opened one of the small doors and instead of glasses he came across a proper collection of whisky bottles.  
“Honda Hitomi? The one with the puffy cheeks?”  
Seungyoun who finally found and filled a glass, turned around. “I can’t believe you remember everyone but me.”

He sat down at the table where a bunch of letters and papers drew his attention. Without thinking he took a closer look.  
“I know it’s none of my business but you’d better pay these.” He said leaving thought the bunch of unpaid bills and warnings.  
“Although it’s my house I still have a lot of stuff to pay. Property taxes and stuff.” Hangyul said, kind of avoiding the actual issue.

Seungyoun wicked up another paper. “You’re actually in debt.”  
“I wonder what will happen if I don’t pay those.” He took another sip, still not even looking in Seungyoun’s direction.  
“Hold up,” Seungyoun got up and sat down next to Hangyul. “You aren’t writing anything at the moment?”  
The one shook his head. “Nope.”  
“Are you serious?”“I always have a quarrel with the editor. It’s a serious pain. You could actually call it a writing hiatus.”  
Seungyoun went through the letters again.  
“The sales started dropping and the editor slowly began to interfere more and more. It got far away from my original thoughts. He probably considered me difficult to work with.” Hangyul snorted.  
Seungyoun put the papers aside, crossed his arms and leaned forward.  
“Say…”  
“Hm?”  
He paused for a bit before continuing. “Do you wanna come write for my company?”  
Hangyul paused for a moment. “Write what?”  
“I’ll be in charge of you though you can only write erotic novels.” He grinned widely about his, in his opinion, amazing idea. “By standard I’m really familiar with this genre. And it doesn’t have to be long. You just have to make people nut-“  
“Wait wait wait.” Hangyul set aside his whisky glass and turned towards Seungyoun. “You want me to write erotic novels?” He chuckled. “Me?” Hangyul stood up, took his glass and the empty whisky bottle and left the living room. He set both on the kitchen table. Seungyoun followed him and stopped standing in the door frame. He glanced at Hangyul with questioning eyes who was reaching out for another bottle. This time he went for Scotch.  
As he turned around there was no amusement left in his face. 

“Absolutely not.” He said determined. “Porn is no literature, it’s a tool. It doesn’t take much to write it.” He turned the bottle in his hand and squinted as he took a closer look at the label before, looking directly into Seungyoun’s eyes. “It’s a tool used for achieving goals and purposes.” He resolutely put down the bottle. “I only wanna write literature.”  
“Yet not writing literature apparently does not pay your bills.” Seungyoun reminded him.  
Hangyul stepped around the table so that he stood directly in front of Seungyoun. He had to look up a bit to meet his eyes. 

“If I were to write unambitious stuff like this, I’d rather quit being an author.” He blew a bit of air right into Seungyoun’s face to emphasize his aversion. Seungyoun couldn’t help but wonder how much Hangyul must have drank until his breath smelled this much of alcohol.

They looked at each other for some time. Music playing softly in the living room which didn’t quite fit the situation well. Warm light falling down on them, accentuating the dark brown reflections in Hangyul’s otherwise black messy hair. The reflection on his glasses, which still rested on his head, blinked whenever Hangyul moved barely noticeable.

“Alright.” Seungyoun said and took a deep breath. “If you say so.” He laughed and slapped Hangyul’s shoulder. “You’re the expert.” He ambled past him and opened the sealed bottle on the table, pouring himself a drink just like Hangyul offered him earlier. 

“Indeed, erotic novels do arouse the dark side of reader’s lust and I can clearly see why you don’t want to be associated with this genre. Yet I’m your fan. I think you’re really talented.”  
Hangyul lost his angry face and squinted. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve read all of your books.” Seungyoun pointed at the shelf.  
“Really?”  
“Yes. I hope you won’t quit writing or it will be such a waste.”  
Hangyul clearly knew where this was going.  
“Just think of this as a filler time before you write your own ‘literature’.” Seungyeon drank a quick swig. “Let me put it like this: You need money, right?” He went to the living room and picked up a paper. “Here, aren’t you in between debt? Although it’s not much, you’ll be in trouble if you don’t solve it.”  
Just as he was about to continuing walking down the road of convincing Hangyul for his own sake, Hangyul let his head fall and presses his lips together. 

“I don’t know what to do.” He whispered, clearly taking a lot of effort to admit. “How I will go on afterwards.” Powerless he sat down at the kitchen table.

Seungyoun sighed and sits down next to him. He suddenly felt the urge to mess with his head.  
“It’s you”, he said. “You’ll definitely be fine. If you’re worried about your resume, just change your name.” He looked at him. “Just give it a try.”  
Hangyul remained silent, staring at the table top.  
“I’ll move in and buy you a heater, what do you think?” 

An excessively great talent, pure with extremely strong sense of pride. Hangyul surely still was the man Seungyoun once admired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
First chapter, here we go.  
I'm apologizing for any spelling mistakes that might still be hiding somewhere.  
Hopefully you like the plot. Feel free to share your thoughts/ideas!  
I'm curious!  
  
Fan-fictions are serious business. More or less.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[let's chat!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)


	3. proficient

_“Their hands grip the carpet hairs. Look at the initial swell of a bicep, that bump after the dip of the inner elbow. When they switch, they're laughing now. Everyone's drunk. No one has come yet. They kiss in between switching, and their hands move all over, into inner thigh, rounded curve of the ass, sweaty necks. I feel the tide fading from my feet. They look up — come with us, come join us, they say, but I'm over here, I say, for today — and they are at once disappointed and also we all know the rhythm has been set as is. Tight calves and legs lifting. Brown curls and blond knees. When they're kissing again, I could stare for hours. Men love to watch two women kiss, but how I love to watch two men. So clear in their focus. The amazing space created for me when there is nothing demanded or seen.” ^_

“Huh?”  
Ash came off the tip of his cigarette and landed on the living room table.  
Seungyoun lowered the bunch of papers and stared across the room at the naked wall above the TV. He thought about it.

“What is it?” Hangyul leaned against the wall next to the window, also smoking but gazing outside. During the past week he did it a lot. Both. Gazing and smoking. Preferably at the same time.  
“That’s it?” Seungyoun asked raising an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, sure. Something wrong with it?”

Seungyoun turned around and put down his cigarette. “You really think people can cum by reading this?”

Hangyul let out smoke and laughed. “Nah, that’s highly unlikely.”  
“Then it’s not gonna work!” Seungyoun dropped the papers dramatically and fell back into the sofa. His roommate shrugged and faced away from him continuing gazing and smoking.

“Okay. See, what I mean is … ”, Seungyoun sat up straight again. “Generally it’s all fine. The wording is excellent, you created a great mood and the characters are credible. You’re an excellent writer. However, the buildup before the sex scene is way too long. They shag in what, the last two pages? Reading the whole thing and not knowing when it’d happen made me nervous as hell.”

Hangyul shrugged. “Maybe you should start being less horny if you can’t even wait until the end of the book.”  
“See, you can’t expect the readers to adjust you. You need to meet their expectations.”

“Can’t do anything about it really. It’s not my choice. She is a reserved girl. If she doesn’t want to sleep with him until she knows him better, I can’t force her to do so.”

“Well, just change her into a less reserved person.”

Hangyul sighed and turned towards him, lowering his cigarette. “And how exactly am I supposed to do that?”

Seungyoun cocked his head and frowned. “What do you mean?”  
Hangyul flicked his cigarette into an empty coffee mug on the window sill. “I can’t just change the protagonist’s character. How should that work?”

Seungyoun still didn’t understand. “Ehm … you’re a writer.”  
“Yes.” Hangyul took away the cup and opened the window, then walked past him into the kitchen. The other one followed him with his eyes.  
“So you just take a pen … and change it.”

Hangyul laughed. “No , there is no such thing as just changing it.”  
Seungyoun had some really hard times catching up with him mentally. “Sorry if I repeat myself but … What do you mean?”

“How can I just betray her that much? Changing her whole character, her actions … everything that she is? How could I possibly do that?”  
Seungyoun got up and hurried over. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Of course that’s not a joke!” Hangyul was indignant.  
“But you made her up. So you can change her as much as you like.” He propped himself on a chair, looking at Hangyul who had sat down.  
“You don’t understand.”  
“Yeah obviously not.” Seungyoun admitted now completely lost.

“See, I didn’t make her up. She came to me. Her character, she as a literary person. When I thought of the plot she knocked on my door and said ‘I’m the character you’re looking for. Take me and the storyline will work out just fine.’. So how can I adjust it afterwards? I could look for a new character fitting into another plot, yet there is no way to just change the original female main character for this novel.”

Seungyoun let his head fall and breathed out deeply.  
“I can’t deal with your artistic ass.” He took a deep breath. “Okay. Besides that small matter of fact, the depiction of sex is way too obscure. The sex scene finally appeared at the end of the book but you finished it in like 5 lines.”

“Yes.” Hangyul said. “So what?”  
“_So what?_ It’s an erotic novel!” Seungyoun was so close to facepalm himself.  
“Are you trying to tell me the rest of the story doesn’t matter?” Hangyul squinted in disbelief. He wasn’t wearing his glasses so he’d been basically blind the past 30 minutes. 

Seungyoun pulled out the chair and sat down across the table.  
“Okay, listen. If you buy a … let's say fantasy novel. What do you want to read about?”  
“Nothing. Why should someone buy fantasy novels at free will?”  
Seungyoun ignored him.  
“Right! You want to read about orcs and elves and epic battles. So now change ‘fantasy’ into ‘erotic’ and ‘orcs’ into ‘moans’. People who buy our books want to nut! It’s the whole point for most of our customers. Is that so hard to understand?”

Hangyul rolled his eyes.  
“Just give it another shot but put more smut into it, alright?”  
“I just want my characters to matter, you know? Is that too much to ask?”  
Seungyoun’s face hardened. “Frankly? Yes.”

A few silent seconds passed during which Hangyul thought about it.  
“However, have you read the novels I recommended to you?” Seungyoun asked and pointed at the pile of books covering the carpet in the living room.  
“It took me the entire night reading all of them. One could say it wouldn’t take that long.” Hangyul sat down right in between the bunch of books. There was a free spot in the middle as if he had sat there whole night, spreading the books around him one by one. Taking them out of the box Seungyoun brought them in, reading them and then putting them aside. 

Seungyoun stood up chuckling and flopped on the sofa. “I didn’t hear anything, did you come?” He smirked from ear to ear.  
Hangyul looked at him with a serious face, not even flinching. “No.”, he answered. “I told you this is no literature.”

“So literature makes you come?” Seungyoun concluded, frowning jokingly serious. Hangyul threw a book at him but the other one managed to catch it. He took a closer look at it.  
“Why did you threw this one out of al this shoddy?” He complained.

“Oh so you admit it’s shoddy? Which one?” Seungyoun showed him. “Oh I’m sorry. I actually liked that one. Well more like ‚it wasn’t as bad as the others’.”

“Really?” Seungyoun asked dumbfounded. 

Hangyul nodded and indicated him to give it back. “It’s the first time I really felt something special in an erotic novel. It really got me excited.”

“Not excited enough I assume?”  
Hangyul threw another book and Seungyoun had to pick it up from the floor. He was too busy defending himself with a pillow to actually try saving it.

“This writer is truly special tho. He’s writing since a long time so you could consider him actually old school. He’s a master.”

“I said it’s all tools, perhaps I was too arrogant. Erotica maybe aren’t that simple after all.” Hangyul said spacing out a bit, while leafing through the book one more time.

“After all, the level of sex and the distribution of your story and the depiction of sex need some improvement.” Seungyoun said to sum up their original conversation.

“Hm, I’ll try again.” He flipped open the last page and came across the authors information. His eyes stopped at the authors picture. An old man with nose length and grey hair. He must’ve been very handsome back in his days. Yet the age didn’t make him ugly or something. It just gave him something sublime. As if all of his good life experience settled down onto his face.  
„Lee Dong Wook …” He mumbled.

***

Seungyoun tried to focus on work. He honestly tried. However meanwhile everyone else around him was busy doing what had to be done, taking phone calls, looking at potential covers and, well, reading smut, he couldn’t help but thinking about how much his life has changed within the past two weeks.

He never thought such a weird chain of occasions would have such a huge impact on it.  
First of all his girlfriend broke up with him and made him move into the company dorm. After that huge backstep in his adult life, his former professor past away and out of all people Chaeyeon dragged him to attend the funeral, where he met Hangyul. The only guy he ever admired. He never really considered himself bisexual but there was always that one person that would manage to turn you around, right?

And now he was living with him which might mean there would be a possibil-

He shook his head heavily. That was by far the wrongest direction his mind could wander off at work. Luckily his coworker fetched him back into reality.  
She sat across the table, holding the handset and snapping at him.  
“Cho, Cho! You really should pick up. Line 2. It’s the boss he wants to talk to you.”  
Seungyoun shook off his thoughts about Hangyul and answered the call.  
“Yes?”  
“I have some good news for you.” His boss started talking, not wasting any time on social graces. 

“We might manage to get Lee Dong Wook to write for us. He reached out to me and said he’s going to write one last novel and he lets us publish it.”  
Seungyoun stood up in excitement.  
“Wait, you mean Lee Dong Wook?”  
“The man, the name, the legend, yes that one. Now sit down again.”  
Seungyoun wasn’t quite sure how his boss knew about him standing up in excitement but he did as he was told.

“He told me he wants to talk to one of our editors before deciding. He wants to see how he gets along with us. Since everyone else is busy editing for the winter season, I want you to go there.”  
“You … you want me to meet Lee Dong Wook? For real?”  
“Stop that fangirl behavior and go. I told him you’re gonna meet him today. At his house of course. We have to be quick on this! I don’t want any other publishers to snatch him. You understand?”  
“But doesn’t he have a lot of other companies going for him and his works?”  
“Of course he has but we know personally so he contacted me before all the others. Let’s just say it’s his way of returning a favor. Now hurry up and get him sign the contract with us.”

Seungyoun nodded until he realized his boss couldn’t see him. “I’m on my way.”  
He already grabbed his bag hastily.  
“I’ll mail you the address. Don’t fuck it up, alright?”

***

It took him about an hour to reach the address his boss gave him. Lee Dong Wook’s house could nearly be called a residence. The building was old and wooden. Kept in the traditional dark colors it went really well with the green garden and the trees that surrounded it. No one told him it would be that high up in the mountains but he had to admit: The view was just something else. He could only imagine how it would be like, looking out of the window having this mountain ridge view instead of the next houses wall, like he had.

Seungyoun carefully parked his car outside the fence and rang at the gate. A lady answered.  
“Yes?”  
“Ehm, my Name is Cho Seungyoun. I work for Hwang-geum Inc. Lee-ssi asked us do reach out for him in terms of his latest work so one might say this is kind of an appointment.”

Why the hell was he so nervous? And why did he suddenly feel like his hair was too messy and his suit doesn’t fit well enough? 

“I’ll open the gate. Please follow the path it’ll lead you to the main door. I know it’s shorter walking straight over the loan but please take the path. Don’t step on the loan.”  
“Aright, thank-“ The electric strike interrupted him and he tossed the gate open.

Following the tiny path Seungyoun gaped over the landscape. Between the old trees he could see parts of the mountain ridge that surrounded the area. No question Lee Dong Wook lived quite isolated. He seemed to prefer nature over human company.  
Seungyoun never dreamed one could become this wealthy just by writing erotic novels.

The lady from the intercom was already waiting for him. He could see her silhouette standing in the door from afar. And she spoke with the same nasty squeaky voice as before. No doubt it was her.  
But was she Lee Dong Wook’s wife? Or a housekeeper?

Seungyoun waved as he came closer but the lady just told him to walk around the house. Lee-ssi was sitting in the garden.  
Once again this day he simply did as he was told.

***

“Jihwan was right. You really came right away. Seungyoun reeled around as a deep and calm voice sounded behind him. He already had walked past Dong Wook. He was so focused on not to march down any plants that he’d simply forgot to look out for him.

He immediately bowed and apologized. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see you there! My name is Cho Seungyoun. Jung-ssi told me to come as soon as possible so I went right away.”

The old man laughed. His grey hair fell smoothly and framed his smile. He sat cross-legged on the elevated deck that seemed to directly disembogue into the living room. It was a nice spot to sit during a sunny afternoon, just as it was one today. From there he could look over the yard and the ridge in the distance.

“No need to be act so officially. Come over, sit here.” He waved and smiled.  
Seungyoun took off his shoes before climbing onto the deck. He sat down on his knees and failed pretty much at hiding his nervousness.

Dong Wook offered him some tea and Seungyoun gratefully took it.  
“You seem pretty much nervous. I hope it’s not because of me.” He laughed.

Seungyoun first shook his head, then slowly nodded. “I’m sorry but I read all of your novels.”  
Dong Wook smiled. “I assume that means you’re pretty healthy.”

Blood rushed Seungyoun’s face and he denied heavily. “That’s not what I meant! I mean yes- but … You got this all wrong.”

The elder man bursted into loud laughter. “Relax, relax. I’m honored you read my works.”

Seungyoun still avoided any eye contact yet tried to hide the blush. He cleared his throat. “Jung-ssi told me you’re considering writing again under our company?”  
Dong Wook stretched and nodded. “Pretty much yes. To keep it frankly, there are a lot of publishers lining up to publish the last one big shot, yet I owe Jihwan a favor.”

“We’d be more than happy to publish it for you.” He bowed low but came up right afterwards as he remembered Dong Wook wanted to keep it less formal. 

“Even though I have a favor to return, the whole projects depends on a few more things than the favor alone.” He put down his cup of tea and looked directly at Seungyoun. “I need to know who exactly my editor is going to be.”  
Seungyoun raised his hand. “That would be me. Everyone else is busy editing for the upcoming season.”

“Why are you the only one free? Is there anything I should know? Not that I’d assume Jihwan would send me an inexperienced editor.”  
“It’s nothing like this! I’m working as an editor for the company since nearly two years. It’s just that I’m currently in charge of taking care of the writers. So I’m the only one who doesn’t work on a particular project _yet_. I’m absolutely qualified.”

Dong Wook chuckled. “Great! I like confident men.”  
Seungyoun couldn’t help but blushing again. “What’s the second condition?”  
Nothing was said for the next few seconds. 

“For this one I need to be sure that you’re 100% discreet on this. Even if I should not choose your company I need to be sure you won’t tell anyone. It’s private and I want it to stay that way. I don’t need any papers to know about it.”  
Seungyoun assured by nodding heavily. “I won’t retell it.”

Dong Wook lifts up his right hand. “I need someone to write it for me. Someone who understands the literary value of my work and this genre.”  
Tilting his head, Seungyoun frowned.  
“Excuse me, sir but I’m afraid I can’t really follow.”

He sighed. “Due to an accident during a hike in the mountains last year I can’t move my right hand. Since it’s my dominant hand it’s difficult for me to even hold a spoon. You can imagine how hard that makes it to actually write.”  
Seungyoun nodded. “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re doing alright, despite your hand!”

“Of course I could get me someone who writes down everything as I tell him but I want someone who understand the value of written words. Someone who also questions what I write. I would be nice to talk about the topic in a more elevated way than just discussing porn. I got old and I’m sick of being all by myself. I wondered if you have such people working for your company.”

“I’m sorry but we don’t work with ghost writers.”  
“Great, because that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m more speaking of someone who writes down _with_ me, rather than just _for_ me. I don’t need another hand, I need an extra pair of eyes. A fresh mind.”  
“Do you really consider it smart to change the way of writing in your last book? Over the years you gathered a huge fan base around you and now you want to change the overall mood? I’m sure there will be an audience for that as well, but … I’m a bit worried about the sales. People might take it as a betrayal.”

Dong Wook leaned back in his chair and his eyes wandered back to the mountain ridge. “You know, the good thing about getting old is that you simply don’t care anymore. If the sales drop it might be bad for you and the company but I have enough money and nothing to worry about. I guess it’s just a sentimental trait to pass on the art of erotic writing. It scares me that most of the things you get to read these days is basically porn. Erotic literature is an art form and I want someone to carry that on.” 

^ (taken from “A Sunday Afternoon" by Aimee Bender)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for so many hits and kudos!  
I wasn't actually planning on releasing the next chapter  
this shortly after the first one -  
consider it a Sunday treat ♡  
***
> 
> Fan-fictions are serious business. More or less.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[let's talk about pickled radish and Seungyul!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)


	4. deal

“Okay. I know it probably wasn’t the right thing to do in the first place but hear me out.”  
Seungyoun spilled out in one breath as he rushed through the main door, threw his car keys on the table and immediately slid on the chair across Hangyul, who sat there reading one of the erotica and drinking coffee. His glasses rested on the tip of his nose so that he would only see clearly when looking down.

As Seungyoun bursted into the room and collapsed on the chair, he raised his head a bit and instantly saw close to nothing. He didn’t say anything - just gazed at his blurry silhouette.

“So, I went to-“, Seungyoun paused, completely out of breath, obviously trying to figure out how to start this conversation properly. He shook his head and started again. Hangyul lowered the book.

“You remember the book you liked? The one you throw at me last week and I gave it back and you said you actually loved it and how wrong you were about erotica?” 

“I wouldn’t exactly say ‘loved’ but yeah I remember.” He nodded and took some coffee. Seungyoun still hadn’t slowed down a single bit.  
“My boss called. At work I mean. And he told me Lee Dong Wook, the other of exactly that book, considers working with us.”  
“Isn’t he really old already?”

Seungyoun padded his hands on the table in excitement. “Exactly!! He’s old! That’s why this is such a huge thing. If it really should be his last big shot, it would be an amazing opportunity. However, Jung-ssi asked me to edit his work!”  
Hangyul nodded acknowledging and turned towards his book again.  
“Isn’t this amazing?!”, Seungyoun tapped with his feet under the table, excited like a kid the night before Christmas.  
“Truly amazing. Hoping the guy dies before being able to write another novel after the one you’ll hopefully publish is … _thrilling_.” Hangyul said, fully concentrated on figuring out what paragraph he got interrupted. 

“There is just one thing, though.”  
“Don’t mind me, just go on.”, Hangyul mumbled. After a moment of hesitation Seungyoun blurbed it all out in one breath.  
“He told me needs a student to write the whole thing for him and I told him you’d do it.”

Silence.

Hangyul put down the book and stretched. He couldn’t concentrate anyway. Seungyoun looked at him eagerly. But his across just stood up and emptied out his cup into the sink. Then he rinsed it and put it aside to dry. 

“So … you’re not gonna say anything?” Seungyoun turned around. Hangyul scoffed.  
“What am I supposed to say to you about it now?” He pushed his glasses up his nose bridge. “You’re right. I liked his works. At least the one you gave me.”

“I’m sorry I should have asked you before hand.” Seungyoun sighed and rested his head on the tabletop. “It was just such a quick decision to make.”  
“You could have called.”  
“I could have called …” He repeated marrowless.

“However, if an old guy asks you to write for him, you can’t possibly deny and still sleep well, right?”  
“Do you have to call him an _old guy_?”  
Hangyul shrugged and scuffed towards his room. He scratched his tummy.  
“He’s ancient.” He yawned.

***

Seungyoun pulled the car over into the same spot he parked a few days ago. Hangyul leaned over from his side to look out of Seungyoun’s window.  
“Is that really his house?” He gaped with his mouth open.

Seungyoun blushed about how close they were before pushing Hangyul back slightly.  
“Pretty impressive, right? Yet the way up there is quite exhausting.”  
“If that’s what you could earn from writing erotica I might reconsider.”

They got out of the car and walked up the hill. As they reached the gate, Seunyoun already prepared himself mentally for the lady’s voice. 

“What is it?”  
“Ehm, it’s Cho Seungyoun again. I visited Lee-ssi last week and-“  
“Is this again one of these _kind of appointments_?”  
Seungyoun sighed and let his head fall before looking up again and smiling through the pain. “One might say so.”

With out another word the electric strike sounded and they pushed the gate open.  
“Is it just me, or is her voice a true pain?” Hangyul chuckled deeply. Seungyoun rolled his eyes.  
“It’s not just you, believe me.”

Walking up the path to the house, Hangyul noticed how taut Seungyoun was. He couldn’t remember to have ever seen him that nervous. Well, they met again nearly three weeks ago and he couldn’t recall anything from college about him so … yeah he definitely never saw him like this.

They reached the door and this time the lady didn’t make them walk around the house but let them in right away. Standing in the hallway Hangyul noticed how ridiculous the two of them must look. Seungyoun being in complete pre-distress meanwhile Hangyul felt like whistling the song they were listening on the radio to. Not that he would care much but he was in an overall surprisingly good mood today.

Seungyoun scanned Hangyul from the corner of his eye. “Why didn’t you at least wear a white shirt? If not the suit as I asked you to.”  
Hangyul looked down on himself. “What’s wrong with slacks and blue striped shirt?”  
“This is official business.”, Seungyoun hissed and immediately regret it.  
“But it’s way more comfortable than a suit.” Hangyul replied completely laid back, adjusting his shirt.  
“Could you please tuck it all in? Not just a bit? You look like a rebellious teenager.”

Hangyul raised his eyebrows, turned around and looked at Seungyoun. “So _I_ am looking like a teenager? Have you seen yourself? I mean, at home. Wearing all grey hoodie and beanie. Not even speaking about your french fry socks.”  
“Still.”  
“You better be glad it ain’t the marvel shirt.” Seungyoun’s eyes opened wide in shock. “Don’t tell me you thought of wearing that.”  
“Of course I didn’t. But I should have!” Seungyoun grunts. The stress didn’t do any good.  
“Just… Act normal. Be polite. And dare you to call him old!”  
“Goodness, I’m not that rude, my mom raised me well.”

Right that moment the Lady returned, indicating them to follow her.

The house was quiet and dark. Not like a scary dark, more in a comfortable way. It appeared a bit strange to Hangyul. There were a few traditional paintings hanging in the hallway yet no family pictures. Did he even have family?  
The rooms which doors stood a bit open so he could peak inside them all together looked quite clean. If not to say barren. What kind of man would this old guy be? He wondered.

The lady stopped at the end of the hallway and slid open a door to her left. Then she took a step back and signed them to enter the room. After both of them stepped inside, she closed the door.  
Everything happened without a single word.

Seungyoun recognized the room they had entered as the one he met Lee Dong Wook in the last time he visited. The floor was still spread with the same traditional matting yet the sliding doors leading to the backyard were closed. The weather wasn’t as sunny as the last time. 

“Thank you for coming all the way once again. I’m sorry it’s such a long way. You must be exhausted, please come sit.”  
Both of them twirled to the left. Seungyoun eyes wide opened in shock, Hangyul frowning and squinting.

Dong Wook was sitting in an armchair Seungyoun didn’t notice last time, laughing at the two very polar reactions. He had to invite them to sit down one more time before Seungyoun obeyed with a lot of bowing going on, meanwhile Hangyul simply took a seat.

“I see you got him to come here.” Dong Wook said with a wide and warm smile. “Such a pleasure to meet you.”  
Hangyul pointed at himself in surprise. “Me?”

“Of course. You’re an award winning writer, it’s always nice to meet such ambitious people. Especially when they’re your age. You were the youngest who ever got that specific award, if I recall it correctly.”  
Hangyul nodded thoughtful as if he just remembered it himself.  
“Yes, that’s true. But not a big deal after all.”

Seungyoun right next to him still didn’t manage to calm down or even hide his nervousness. Hangyul couldn’t tell if it was because of the erotica-master or because of the deal behind it all. Or maybe he just had to pee and was too polite to ask where the bathroom is. How should he know?

“I read that book. It really got that prize for a reason. I’m sorry I couldn’t read more than that, it was just such few time.”  
Hangyul giggled so that his teeth showed a bit. “I appreciate the praise but I just wrote a book over all. I was lucky it got published and nominated.”

Dong Wook nodded and smiled. “You are pretty humble for your age. I like that.”  
Seungyoun couldn’t help but snort. Humble. Yeah sure.  
“However, I’m happy to both see you here. As Cho-ssi recommended you when I asked him for a writer, I wasn’t really sure to believe he actually meant _you_. I thought he might just know someone else with the same name by accident.”  
He clapped one time. “But now since you’re sitting here I’d like to ask you personally. Would you like to help me write my last novel?”

“You know, it’s more than fair that I tell you this before you get too much-“ Hangyul got started but suddenly Seungyoun interrupted him.  
“He’d like to very much yes sir.” He blurted out and immediately blushed up to his forehead. “I’m sorry.” 

Hangyul startled in shock and turned towards Seungyoun real slow.  
“Goodness can please stop being such an emotional wreck? There are two grown-ups trying to talk here.” He pointed back and forth between himself and the elder man who himself got scared by Seungyoun’s sudden shout.

“I’ll just go and leave you two discuss it. Whatever outcome, I’ll appreciate you considered working with us, Lee-ssi.” Seungyoun stood up and bowed low, before he quickly left.

Both writers were looking after him before turning towards each other again.  
“You two must know each other for quite a long time.” Dong Wook said, relaxing a bit now that the level of nervousness sank down to a minimum.  
“Well, about that … he knows me since college but I don’t remember him at all. We met again two or three weeks ago.” Dong Wook couldn’t help but burst into a sudden deep laughter.  
“And you’re already working together?”  
Hangyul shrugged. “We’re actually sharing a place at the moment since his girlfriend kicked him out.”

Dong Wook grinned with a wide range of thoughts hidden behind it. “I assume by now you remember his name?”  
Hangyul chuckled. “Believe me, I remember.”  
The elder's grin grew a bit wider.

Hangyul sat up straight. “However, before actually accepting there are a few things I should tell you. “ Dong Wook nodded intently.  
“I suck at writing erotica. I tried once after Seungyoun asked me to give it a shot. I wrote it, he read it. Afterwards he gave me some critique yet I think he sugarcoated it quite a bit. And I totally see his point. After that he wanted me to adjust the protagonist's character traits and I told him I couldn’t do that which he didn’t understood. I would have to adjust the storyline or get new protagonists but I can’t just change settled things.”

“Cho-ssi is quite handy at his job as an editor yet he truly isn’t a writer.” Dong Wook added.  
“Right. He told me there was too few porn in it and too much feelings and poetry.”

“Was it the first erotica you’ve ever written?”  
Hangyul affirmed. “And did you read any of them beforehand?”  
“Seungyoun lend me a few to read but honestly only your novel really got me to somehow change my mind about it. I still consider them tools and not very much literature, yet I understand one can reach certain … _goals_ in a more elevated way.”

“I’m glad you see it from that perspective and I’m also glad you have a different take on this topic then most other people who write for this genre.”

Hangyul doffed his glasses, cleaned it by using his striped shirt and put them back on. “At the moment I consider myself difficult to work with. I’m trying really hard to overcome this phase but I’m still in the middle of it. Reading your work has made me curious about this genre and I would like to gain knowledge from you. But I think you should know this before seriously considering working with me.”

***

He casually flicked ash from the tip of the cigarette. Who would have thought the garden would be _that_ huge. There was actually a bench somewhere. A single bench in the middle of nowhere just to sit on. Now look at that. This man really was old fashioned.

Seungyoun blew some smoke into the sight wind that’d been pulling on his hair lightly since he left the house to go for a walk. Luckily he didn’t meet the lady on his way out. Though he still not really knew who she was.

Wondering about what the two men of words were discussing inside, he thought about the funeral. 

Hangyul easily recognized Chaeyeon. Within a blink of an eye he knew who she was. He couldn’t remember them to be close at all. But thinking about his time during college he figured no-one really was close to Hangyul.

How come? Everyone has friends in college. Like even the nerdiest people would find kindred-spirits sooner or later. No matter what field one is interested in, there are other students who shared that passion. Right?

Seungyoun tried to remember how he were. Rather _reflecting_ who he used to be and how/who he was now. Did he even change a single bit at all?

He pulled out his phone to check the time. They were talking for quite some time now but he wasn’t sure if that’s a good omen or a bad one. Considering who was taking part in that conversation, it could be either way.  
Anyway they were both writers so talking to a fellow won’t bother both of them much. So he decided to reach out for an old friend.

“Yes?”  
Seungyoun smiled. “Hi Yuvin. How’s it going?” He puffed and could hear Yuvin laugh on the other end.  
“Oh my god! I haven’t heard from you since ages! Cho Seungyoun why on earth are you calling me? Don’t you have work to do you lazy. Wait I’ll go somewhere I can talk it’s quite noisy.” Seungyoun waited until Yuvin had resettled.  
“Alright, now” he could hear him closing a door. “why are you calling?”

“Just wanted to chat, I suppose?”  
“oh, okay. Though I don’t have much time. I gotta prep for the next meeting. Oh by the way I’m sorry about the funeral and that I didn’t make it there. Work is hella busy lately. The upcoming season, you know?” Some papers ruffled.  
“Yeah totally get that. Chaeyeon and Hitomi were there. Bunch of others as well. Chaeyeon extolled it to be ‘all of the former graduates and professors’ but truth said we were just ten people combined.” Yuvin laughed.  
“She didn’t change at all, didn’t she?”  
“Not a single bit!” They both laughed.

Seungyoun beamed. It felt so good talking to one of his old friends again. Which made him realized that since he started working … he didn’t had many friends anymore. Not to speak of close ones like Yuvin.

“Hitomi mentioned you.”  
“Did she? What’ she say?”  
Seungyoun shrugged. “Nothing much. We were trying to figure out what Hangyul did during college. Do you remember him?”

“Wait, Hangyul was there? Lee Hangyul? Our award-winning wunderkind?”  
“Exactly that one. But hold up: He did remember _anyone_but me.”  
“How could he not remember you out of all people?”  
Seungyoun shrugged. “It makes me think, though. What did I do in college? I don’t remember being that translucent so you wouldn’t remember me.”

“‘Cause you weren’t. If there is one person that was all over the place then it’s you. People were constantly talking about you. All these party rumors, the pillow talk? I strongly suppose there was no one who didn’t know your name at least. Maybe he just didn’t recognize your face?”

“Possible, that man is basically blind without his glasses. Yet I do remember him wearing them that day.”  
He could literally hear Yuvin raising an eyebrow. “You do _remember_ him wearing his glasses _that day_? Man, next thing you telling me is how his glasses look like?”  
“They’re eh golden I suppose, and round?” 

Yuvin amusedly snorted. “You really have changed.”  
“What do you mean by that?” Seungyoun frowned and cocked his head.  
“You went from excessive partying, getting wasted basically every weekend and not remembering all the girls you’ve been with to worrying about why some guy from college doesn’t remember you.”  
Seungyoun frowned. “So that’s a bad thing?”  
Yuvin denied strongly. “No, not at all. You’re just growing up. Considering how you were back in the days - that’s a major progress, really. Oh by the way: Do you parents still make you work?”  
“Sure thing they do. I deserve it.”  
Both laughed.

“Alright I gotta go. Picking up the kids up from daycare after work. You really should come over and meet them they’re gorgeous. We should meet up anytime soon. It’s really been a while.”  
“And you’re telling me I grew up!”

They hung up and Seungyoun breathed out deeply. He stubbed out his cigarette. 

It was amazing how no-one, not even his closest friend, was able to draw the line between him and Hangyul. It’s as if they didn’t even graduate the same college or year. 

Hard for him to believe no-one ever noticed he had a crush on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
Yuvin is and will always be my most favorite side character.
> 
> Fan-fictions are serious business. More or less.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[let's chat!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)
> 
> _Novelist_ updates every weekend ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू)


	5. interim

Wednesday

Shortly before going to bed Hangyul sat at his desk and scrolled through some messages which he missed while working on the plot for their novel. He didn’t get a lot of them, just a few.  
Most of them were from Dohyon. Something about deciding his major. Or not. He changed his mind a lot about that lately.  
He once told him that he wants to study literature, like Hangyul did but the next day he called an audible because he didn’t want the direct comparison between him and his brother.  
Hangyul couldn’t help but just snort about the fact that their father never compared the two of them equally. His little brother always had advantage over Hangyul in their father’s eyes. Even though Hangyul wasn’t sure if Dohyon was aware of this fact, he envied him for that. 

And of course he was a little mad as well. Dohyon wasn’t a kid anymore. He was about to get into college so if he’d stop living in his little high school dream world, perhaps he would notice how much their dad used to prefer him over Hangyul.

He inhaled sharply and put the phone on the charger. He got up. Surely he couldn’t blame Dohyon. Only his father was responsible for how Hangyul felt about him and especially about other people. 

Some say fame in a young age is poison for one’s character. Though his fame wasn’t actual _fame_. He just wrote a book which earned an award. So only the people who cared about the award knew his name. For Hangyul who didn’t actually considers himself young, winning that award was poison for his whole way of living, for his interactions and his psych. Obvious enough he didn’t tell anyone about it ever. And probably would never go to tell someone.

He didn’t know when drinking became his solution for everything but it must have been a while ago. His feet found the way across the hallway into the kitchen and the correct cupboard completely by themselves. He couldn’t read the label of the bottle he reached out for but he didn’t care much. It was just another drink on another day.  
Was alcohol affecting ones visual abilities?

Shocking how versed he was pouring a drink without even paying attention. How many times did he do this without remembering it?  
He shrugged it off. What did it matter? Getting up in the morning, living, talking - he was still a functioning person after all.

Sitting down at the kitchen table with the lights of the street peering through the window, he rolled the glass between his fingers and thought about his father. How funny he could never meet his expectations. No matter what he did.  
He finished high school valedictorian? Who cares? Dohyon got a side character role in a school play! Congratulations!  
When Hangyul graduated college with distinction he didn’t even told his father. Why bother?

A truck past the house outside and the vibration got the bottles on the cupboard rattling. After that it got real quiet.

So quiet Hangyul could hear Seungyoun panting in the living room. He sighed, stood up and tossed the door open with his foot, holding on to the glass and leaning in the door frame.  
Seungyoun was there, somewhere in the dark - panting. Hangyul gulped.

“Ehm, what exactly are you doing? Not that I could see anything - it’s dark and I’m also not wearing my glasses but whatever it is why aren’t you doing it in your room? Panting in the dark does not belong into a _shared_ living room.”

The panting stopped and shortly after the light went on. Seungyoun sat next to the floor lamp. Strains of hair pasted to his forehead. He was _sweating_.

“What the hell did you do?” Hangyul asked, raising an eyebrow, not sure he really was that keen on finding out.  
“Push ups.” Seungyoun replied out of breath and fanned himself. Leaned back, left leg cocked only wearing a grey tank top and boxers he sat there as if it’s the most casual thing to do at 1 am.

Hangyul scanned him before turning away his face. “Dude, just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I can’t _guess_. Leg down!”  
Seungyoun uncocked his leg and blushed a bit. Sometimes he forgot how _lose_ boxers were.

“Why aren’t you wearing pants?” Hangyul asked taking a sip of his drink, still not looking at his roommate.  
“I was just about to go to bed.”  
“Yeah right. Pushups in the dark seem like a logical conclusion.”  
Seungyoun exhaled and rolled his eyes. “Just some late night workout?”  
“Getting rid of some left over energy?”  
“You could say so.” Seungyoun stretched. “Why are you still up tho?”  
Hangyul scoffed. Somehow his mood dropped down the past few minutes.  
“I was working until now.”

Seungyoun had a closer look at the drink in Hangyul’s hand.  
“You worked drunk?”  
“Tipsy, if at all.” He hissed gazing at Seungyoun from the dark of his eyes.  
“Shall I check it before you’re taking it to Dong Wook? I remember last time he got quite upset about the spelling. I guess he could tell you were drunk since you make nearly no mistakes being sober.”  
“Do me a favor and just leave me with your do-gooder bullshit.” Hangyul replied angrily and chugged the rest of his drink.

Seungyoun stood up and walked up to Hangyul until he stood right in front of him. He frowned. Surely Seungyoun knew about Hangyuls drinking habit. It was hard to miss when living in the same flat. But usually he didn’t get upset. He got flirty before, which Seungyoun had hard times ignoring, and he also got also very funny once but anger was something new. Usually his mood didn’t change at all.

“What’s wrong?” Seungyoun asked, looking down on him. Their height difference wasn’t particularly outstanding still noticeable enough to make Hangyul uncomfortable.

Hangyul avert his eyes and clenched the glass in his hand.  
“Nothing, just … let’s just go to bed. It’s late.” He was about to turn around but Seungyoun grabbed his shoulder.  
“Just tell me.”  
“It’s none of your business.” Hangyul simply replied, trying to tame his anger, though Seungyoun didn’t let go of him.

“You know that I’m living with you since a few weeks now and that I can literally _smell_ the alcohol in your breath? _Again_?”  
Instead of unsnapping form his grip, Hangyul blew air into Seungyoun’s face.  
“Yeah right, doesn’t it smell nice?” Hangyul grinned ironically teasing.  
“Ough. Shut it.” Still holding on to his roommate's shoulders Seungyoun tried to get his nose out of range as Hangyul puffed again.  
“Shit Hangyul, your breath smells like a liquor store, how much did you drink today?”

“What do you care?” He shrugged. “What does anyone care, really?”

Seungyoun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, why should anyone care that you get drunk up to this level on a weekday.”  
“Exactly what I’m saying! I can drink how much I want. And if I start at 3pm - let me start at 3pm.” Hangyul agreed passionately, totally missing the irony behind Seungyoun’s words.

“Would you please shut up and tell me how much you had today?” Seungyoun still hands on his shoulders shaking him lightly.  
“Why? So that you yell at me for it? And just let me go already.” Hangyul tried to fight him off.  
“So you can get yourself another one? Bad enough you don’t tell me about your problems eventhough I lend you a willing ear more than once. N you have to drown your problems in alcohol! Which is basically the most known dumb reaction cause it doesn’t do anything really!”

“Seungyoun, why do you even care?“  
“Yeah right, what do I even care about my friend who slowly kills himself and wastes all the talent he’s gifted with?”

“listen, if you can’t deal with me being more succ-” He lunged out verbally as Seungyoun’s lips simply stopped him from talking.

***

Friday

“Why is- argh! I hate it.”

Without even asking Seungyoun passed him another marker from the bulk pack right next to him, then he went back to gaming.

“Don’t you think the amount of empty markers is telling you something?”, he asked casually while taking down an enemy.  
Hangyul threw a book aside, wrote down some notes and moved on to the next one.  
“Or the remaining white space on these books’ pages?” Seungyoun added.

“What exactly should that be?” Hangyul once again sat on the floor, surrounded by a sea of erotica, papers, pens and empty coffee mugs. Since Seungyoun made a point about his drinking habit he tried to avoid drinking _in front of him_.  
Something Seungyoun didn’t really need to know about.

“Maybe you should stop coloring all the books I _lend_ you and go back to Dong Wook’s place and discuss all your thrilling ideas with him?”  
“You know they’re servicing the line so I can’t go there?” Hangyul asked raising an eyebrow yet not his eyes. “Besides that it’s 11 pm.”

“You should just walk there. Moving would do good for you.”  
“Did you not hear me mentioning the time?” Hangyul flipped a few pages looking for a specific paragraph he marked three hours ago.  
“Then go run some errands. At least do _something_ but sitting here all day flipping pages.”

To Seungyoun’s surprise Hangyul stood up.  
“You’re right.” He stretched and left for the bathroom.  
“What exactly are you planning on doing?” Seungyoun craned to keep and eye on him.  
“I’ll just do a quick laundry and I don’t know but I’m pretty sure the entire flat could use some hovering as well.”  
“Are you out of your mind??” Seungyoun leaped on his feet but Hangyul was already in the bathroom locking the door behind him. “How about spinning cycle?”  
“IT’S NEARLY MIDNIGHT!” Seungyoun knocked on the door panicking.  
He just had a casual talk about noise disturbance with one of the neighbors down stairs and he was not keen on getting into a fight with that woman. In fact he wasn’t really sure if she really _was_ a woman. The peach fuzz confused him.

Hangyul unlocked the door and peered through the gap. “How are you gonna prevent me from proceeding?” He asked in a mysterious tone.  
Seungyoun sighed. “Whatever you want.”  
Hangyul stumbled in surprise.  
“Are you driving me to Dong Wook’s place?”  
“Are you insane? It’s over and hour just one way.” Seungyoun whined.  
Hangyul closed the door again and Seungyoun panicked. He knocked on the door heavily.  
“Alright! Alright I’ll do it. Just open that goddamn door and don’t do the laundry!”

***

Monday

It was one of the few nights Hangyul returned home after Seungyoun. Those nights were rare these days yet still they occurred.  
Stumbling over Seungyoun’s shoes in the tiny hallway he entered the kitchen and put down the groceries on the table. 

“Did you ever consider putting your shoes away properly?” He got out of his coat and peaked into the living room. Seungyoun sat on the sofa. Dressed in a _Gooneys_ shirt completely tucked into black sweatpants and bright yellow goldfish socks he was gaming. The ashtray in front of him contained a few more cigarettes than it usually did this time of the day.  
Seemed like it was a stressful day at work maybe.

The only light source in the room as the TV which cold light fell on Seungyoun’s face and made him look even more pale than usually.  
Hangyul who still didn’t got detected stood in the kitchen and took in the scene taking place in the living room.

“Don’t you think you smoke too much?” He asked, his voice raising a bit so Seungyoun would hear him.

Waking up from his trance he grunts.  
“It was a stressful day, alright? Don’t nag on me.”  
Hangyul sat down next to him.

“Don’t you think you look like a teenager?” He continued using the same intonation as before and doffed his glasses.  
“It’s what you call _comfortable home wear_.” Seungyoun answered not taking his eyes off the TV.  
“It seems more _puberty_ home wear to me.” He scoffed.

Seungyoun didn’t reply. Instead he started a new level and sat up a bit more straight. He always got nervous when someone was watching him game.  
Hangyul laughed. “You don’t need to endeavor, I can’t see anyway.” 

Seungyoun turned around.  
“You can’t see?”  
“No, why else would I wear glasses?”  
“I don’t know, maybe because they look good on you?”  
“Do they?”  
Seungyoun faced the TV again, blushing. “Yeah sure whatever.”

Suddenly Hangyul took off his shirt and tossed it on the floor near the door.  
Seungyoun noticed format he corner of his eye and had to try really hard resisting the urge to look at him. Distracted by Hangyul’s sudden strip he got shot in-game. He restarted. And got shot again immediately.

“So this is what _you_ call comfortable home wear?” He asked decidedly indifferent.  
“Did you not notice how hot it is in here?” Hangyul said under his breath.  
“The average room temperature I’d say. I turned on the heater today’s weather is quite cold.”  
“God that’s why I’m sweating. I haven’t turned on the heater for decades. There was no money for it and no need. It was summer, okay?” Hangyul defended himself after Seungyoun gave him an incredulous look.  
“I’m not used to being able to afford turning on the heater.” He shrugged.

***

Tuesday

“Nice move offering me a ride. But really cheap saying you ran out of gas.” Hangyul scoffed and sticked his hands into his pockets as they walked down the street.  
“I really ran out of gas. I’m not bluffing it out.”.  
Hangyul turned around while walking, faced Seungyoun and formed his fingers into a ‘W’ shape. “Whatever Mary Lou, why don’t you work at McDonalds?” He said in a very childish singing tone  
Seungyoun grunts and rolled his eyes. “I hope you’ll stumble.”  
He really forgot to get gas last time he used the car. Just very bad timing noticing today.

As they reached the main train station Hangyul’s mood didn’t brighten a bit. Instead he got hungry and was even more pissed off than before.  
While Seungyoun was telling him something about work Hangyul tried to get something at the vending machine.

He fed the machine his money, entered the number and used his last pinch of patience waiting for the crackers. They got stuck.

“The editing is usually done by one person so I don’t really see why they made me double checked his work. He’s a capable man and I really can’t use any of the extra work. There are enough other things to-“ He got interrupted by Hangyul who hit the side of the vending machine hard.

“My powers are weak!” He arced up. “Goddamnit.”

Seungyoun took a closer look at the time table right next to him.  
“You powers are fictional.” He mumbled.  
Hangyul hit the poor vending machine again.  
“Release my crackers!!”  
Some people looked at them.

They sat down on the train. Hangyul finally opened his bag of chips. He spend the last 10 minutes getting the package out of the vending machine’s evil claws so he seemed more than relieved to finally get to eat the whole bag in one go.  
He noshed a few of them and instantly screwed hip his face.  
“Can’t believe it! It’s the wrong ones! How could I pick the hot ones??”  
“Maybe because you don’t check twice when you rage or you didn’t listen to me when I told you to enter 12 not 21 because 21 is _always_ the hot ones?” Seungyoun mumbled while browsing his twitter feed.  
Hangyul didn’t hear him.  
“Must be because of your dumb work complaints all the time.”

Seungyoun shrugged and gazed out the window.  
“Why did you even tell me about it? I can’t change anything about whatever is happening at the publisher.”

Seungyoun sighed but Hangyul went on with his rage.  
“We should have take the car. You _promised_ me we’d take the car. But of course you had to bluff it of by-“

Seungyoun reached over to Hangyul and snaffled the crackers.  
“Hey! What do you think you-“  
The other one put his fingers into a ‘W’ shape.  
“WhAt EvEr … Marie Louise? Why don’t you …” He clearly forgot how the saying goes. “Why don’t go get yourself a job for god-sake and Hangyul shut up.”  
He angrily noshed the crackers.

***

Wednesday

Coming home late after a run, Seungyoun found Hangyul sitting in the sea of books once again. Since they came back from their field trip to the mountain house yesterday, he was working constantly.  
As always Seungyoun wasn’t in the room with them as they did their magic. He took a long walk across the property. Actually he thought about going hiking next time he would be there with them. 

Afterwards they had dinner together and discussed a few things. Mainly about work or other writers works. They barely talked personal stuff. Though Seungyoun had the slight feeling Dong Wook would _love_ to ask them a few things. Just as if he knew what happened on that wednesday night.

To be honest and Seungyoun tried really hard to be, what happened that night was what got him go for run tonight in the first place. He couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact he lived through it over and over again, every minute of a day. Yet they still didn’t talk about it.

Not to mention how mad that drove him, he wondered what Hangyul thought of it. They never were that close again since that wednesday.  
Probably for the better.

“You’re back?” Hangyul finally noticed him and looked up. “Would you mind handing me the dictionary?”  
“Did you do anything else today besides working and sitting around?” Seungyoun asked.

“Since both is nearly the same for me, no I haven’t. Why you’re asking?”  
Seungyoun scanned his roommate from head to toe. He was wearing sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. He couldn’t help but think how skinny Hangyul looked.

“Maybe you should come and run with me sometimes. You know, to get some air.”  
“No thank you.” Hangyul answered nearly immediately.  
“It might be a good opportunity for you to get in shape.” Seungyoun offered calmy.

Hangyul doffed his glasses just to squint at Seungyoun. The whole move didn’t make sense at all. 

“How do you wanna know I’m not in shape?” Hangyul asked tilting his head.  
Seungyoun froze and stammered.  
“Well, I guess … I guess I don’t> I just assumed since you never really work out…”

“You’re at work basically the whole day. Just because I don’t show off my push up skills to the public in the middle of the night, doesn’t mean I automatically identify as leek.”

Seungyoun sighed. “Alright, I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry. But you’re still very welcome joining me on runs.”  
“No, sorry. I deeply abhor running.” Hangyul dumped his offer deadpan.

“I’ll take a shower.” Seungyoun said taking off his shoes. “Did you eat already?”  
Hangyul nodded and Seungyoun left it at that.

As Seungyoun left the bathroom, Hangyul was already waiting for his turn. They switched and after changing into his comfy clothes Seungyoun sat down in the living room taking a closer look at the mess Hangyul left behind.  
He went through a few of the example erotica and read the passages he marked.  
Most of it were steamy scenes, built ups or climax expressions. Just as Seungyoun expected.

Thinking of his previous works Hangyul obviously had no problem establishing characters and showing their relations but he really lacked the smutty side of writing. He liked his figures neat and clean yet that wasn’t what erotics are about.

Getting a little bit lost reading one of the novels, Seungyoun lost track of time. He didn’t look up as the bathroom door opens and he also didn’t look up as Hangyul entered the living room.

However he finally raised his eyes as Hangyul walked past him. And it got him shocked.  
Seungyoun sat there, completely frozen as Hangyul reached down to pick up some of his notes.

Only wearing undies. His hair still wet from the shower he just took and some left over water shimmering on his unexpectedly well toned back. He stood upright and leafed through his notebook, not even bothering to look at Seungyoun. This appeared to be completely random at first but it was clearly Hangyul’s way of proving him wrong.

Seungyoun couldn’t help but scanning him from head to toe.  
How wrong he was about his assumption of Hangyul not being in shape. How _horribly, horribly_ wrong.  
He instantly blushed unintentionally.

Hangyul, still leafing through his notes, left the living room mumbling a “good night” and disappeared into his room without turning around again. 

Seungyoun felt heat shooting up his face while his blood rushed elsewhere.

“Jesus christ. This man was such a tease.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
Sometime I'm very sad that there aren't as expressional  
formulations in English as in my first language. 
> 
> Y'all know how music works!
> 
> Fan-fictions are serious business. More or less.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[feedback/let's chat!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)


	6. how to

His grip around the notebook tightened, as the door slid open and Dong Wook entered the room. He closed it behind him and shuffled over to the sofa. The carpet absorbed every noise his steps caused.

“I’m sorry for always calling you all the way up here.” Dong Wook sat down across Hangyul and pointed at the teapot. “May I?”

The younger one quickly nodded, still holding on to his notebook. “I honestly rather work with you up here than alone at our place. As soon as Seungyoun comes home he is up my ass about the progress every day.”

“He just worries about it. I tend to forget that but he’s a big part of the project as well. Just not so deeply involved now as he will be later on. He’s curious.” Dong Wook poured the two of them some tea and slid the cup carefully over the table top.

“So I assume you wrote something?”

Hangyul took the cup and watched the tea’s surface calm down. He thought about his answer before replying.  
“I did.” He looked up. “But I am slowly getting the feeling that this maybe wasn’t a good idea over all.”

Dong Wook cocked his head and frowned. “What makes you think so?”

“It’s really hard to write. Well, maybe not to actually write but to get proper content and progress. Right now I feel like I produce pages and more pages of words but I don’t say anything. It’s like palaver. Some days ago I wrote a conversation about pickles for about six pages but I couldn’t get to the actual _topic_.” He sighed, his fingers tapping on the notebook’s cover nervously.

“I assume with the term ‘topic’ you’re speaking of sex?” The old man raised an eyebrow. He didn’t make fun of Hangyul at all. Being keen on working with this young man he took his problem seriously.

Hangyul nodded.  
“To put it frankly it’s quite embarrassing that a man of my age has troubles writing about it.”

“It’s not. You would wonder about how many scripts I got to read in my early days. Soon after my first big shot I got tons of letters containing scripts and short stories about exactly that. Only a few of them were really good and even less spectacular. Those I passed on to my editors and asked them to employ these writers. But more than the majority of the scripts were nothing more than stammering. Back then it was a secret to me why people had such problems with it. But now I know that those writers were lacking the pure talent to paraphrase actions and creating certain moods to captivate their readers.”

He paused and drank a bit of his tea before continuing.  
“I’m certain you’ve got talent. You proved it already. Since this is just an entirely new field of writing for you I suppose I will be able to teach you. But most important is your will to learn. It’s not just about studying vocabulary, watching porn and observe. It would be better if you could speak out of experience. Which always makes everything become more believable.”

“Experience?”

Dong Wook nodded. “I suppose you’re not a virgin?”

“No.” Hangyul hastily shook his head. “Though I wouldn’t refer to myself as experienced either.”

“That’s a pity. You’re missing out on so much.” The man smiled deeply. “But anyways, would you show me what you wrote?”

Hesitantly handing Dong Wook his notebook, he immediately felt vulnerable and exposed. He was aware of how bad he did and what kind of disenchantment it must be for Dong Wook to read this patchwork. 

He must still think of Hangyul as the famous writer he used to be for a few months but that wasn’t much more than his five minutes of fame. Sure since he got more or less famous his books sold better than others but he wasn’t some internationally famous best-selling author either.  
Just some guy in some city who managed to write a good book.

While leafing through the notes, Dong Wook nodded a few times. Hangyul couldn't possibly predict if the nods were positively or negatively connotated. However, at least the man didn’t yell at him.

He took his time reading. Maybe after ten minutes he out the book down but didn’t close it.  
“You left blanks?”

Hangyul cocked his head. “Blanks .. Oh right. everytime I didn’t know how to call things I just left it blank.”

Dong Wook frowned. “You didn’t know how to call a penis?”

Nearly standing up in shock, eyes wide opened, Hangyul waved his hands in defense. “No no no, that’s not how what I meant. I just figured ‘penis’ might be too direct? Or maybe too vulgar.”

“What made you think that?”

He hesitated. “You know, when I read your novels everything sounded so poetic. The words chosen wisely, everything really smooth.”  
“Okay, now I see where your problem is. I guess you couldn’t know - someone has to explain it.” Dong Wook now sat up and straightened a bit. He laid his fingertips against each other, leaned forward and sighed.  
“It’s something like ‘the magic of porn writing’. See, when reading a thriller or whodunit, everything is so thrilling and compelling that you focus on every word. You want to know exactly what is going on so you try to get your eyes on everything the author has to offer within a scene. That’s because the reader focuses on the content of the scene rather than the outcome. However, in erotic novels the outcome is most of the time the only thing that matters to readers. The thrill of the climax. They tend to skip the background story and even the written foreplay, just to get to the end of the book where things finally happen.”

“You’re saying they don’t focus on every word?”

“A lot of what makes writing porn so great or interesting is that you don’t have to name everything and describe every single position. Most of it happens in the reader’s fantasy. Imagination is a big part of it. Which cuts both ways for us as authors. We have to work with it. Meaning we have to strike a balance between describing and letting people imagine.”

“So it doesn’t really matter what words I chose or use, people won’t pay as much attention as i think they’ll do anyways?” Hangyul frowned yet understood. What his colleague said made perfect sense. 

“Exactly. But what seriously concerns me about what you wrote here is the number of limbs.” Dong Wook chuckled deeply, and flipped some pages. “I counted five arms with only two people being involved.”

“Wait, what? How…” Hangyul took the book and scanned the paragraph the other pointed at.  
“You’re right. Where does that extra arm come from?”

“The overall _business_ also seems quite acrobatic to me. Did you ever tried this?”

Hangyul went over the page again to buy time, before he denied nonverbally. Of course he hadn’t.

“I guess that’s where your lack of experience shows the most.” Dong Wook exhaled and got up from the sofa. His student’s looks following him, as he crossed the room, he went over to a small side table.

He casually picked up the phone that’s resting on it and dialed a number.

“Who are you calling?” Hangyul asked, closing the book in advance.

“I’m getting you some … experience you might say.” Dong Wook grinned and laid his eyes on his student, while the phone rang somewhere.  
“Ah? Yes, hello. It’s Lee Dong Wook. I hope I’m not interfering in any way but would you mind passing by later?”

***

Lee Dong Wook was a honourable and principled man.  
He was a master of his extraordinary writer and a respected elderly citizen.  
And most important: He wore this tendency hidden and deep down inside him of being a cheeky bastard from time to time.

Hangyul grinded his teeth, the tea cup in his hands and stared down on his knees.  
_I’m getting you some experience you might say._  
_Look at me, I’m the great Lee Dong Wook and I get to tell you how inexperienced you are._

Hangyul scoffed internally. He knew mimicking his so to say teacher wouldn’t get him out of whatever situation this would become but it helped.  
Pubertal behaviour always helped.

Though he didn’t manage to disclose the whole plan his Dong Wook’s yet, he really started to question what they needed Seungyoun for.

His roommate/editor arrived about twenty minutes ago and since his appearance they had just sat down and had tea together. Was this some tactic of disguise?  
But who was Dong Wook planning to confuse with it?  
Seungyoun or Hangyul?  
Or possibly both?  
Or none of them and it was just some nice kaffeeklatsch?

He couldn’t help but space out over the boring conversation the two of them had since quite a while now. Not even sure what it was about, Hangyul turned his head and gazed out of the window.

The more or less sudden move of his seemed to remind the other two that he was still with them and it induced Dong Wook to raise his voice just a bit so that Hangyul would automatically listen.

“Seungyoun, tell me. Do you prefer top or bottom?” He stated his question in a serious and more business like tone.  
The other nearly choked on his tea and coughed intensely. He hit himself with his fist on the chest. 

“Excu- Pardon?”

Dong Wook laughed his typical warm and soothing laughter. “It’s a simple question! But if you can’t answer, maybe we should ask Hangyul?” He tapped that one’s shoulder since he was still pretty much zoomed out. “How about you?”

Hangyul flinched. “What?”

“What do you prefer, top or bottom?”

Hangyul frowned to overact that he had no idea what the two of them were talking about.  
“Did you seriously called him here to talk about bunk beds?”

Seungyoun nearly snorted tea over the table and Dong Wook guffawed imbuing.  
“No. Not even close. I want you two, to act it out.” He tapped on the notebook which still rested on the tabletop right next to the teapot. 

“Act out what?” Seungyoun wanted to know and frowned at the book.

Hangyul on the other hand immediately refused. “No. This ain’t happening.”

“Why are you so against it?” The elderly wanted to know and smirked.

“I- ehm, well first of all Seungyoun didn’t agree to this and I do not think he would be fine with it. Secondly just calling him here in disguise is really unfair!” Rage made him get up on his feet so that he now stood between the armchair and the low table.

Both of his friends looked up to him. Dong Wook was the first one to speak.  
“So your only concerns about this regard Seungyoun?” He raised a brow and Hangyul turned his head away. 

Of course this wasn’t mainly about Seungyoung but he might as well just blame it on his roommate, who raised his hand to get some of their attention.  
“If it’s just about me: I’m fine with it. If it helps you getting better or understand the craft, then it’s nothing but beneficial and I’m okay with it.” He said calmly, looking from one to the other.

***

“Since both of you failed to answer my question properly I’m just assigning you a role and you stick to it, alright?” Sitting down on the small chair by the desk, in the corner of the guest room, the elderly looked at them.

Both of the kids nodded and Dong Wook continued. “Seungyoun, since you’re taller I figure you’ll doing the male part and Hangyul you’re going to be the woman due to obvious reasons.”

Before Hangyul could use his chance and riot, Seungyoun interrupted him.  
“Excuse me but what exactly are we going to do?”

“You two are acting out, what your friend wrote.” Dong Wook said from his spot in the armchair and crossed his legs, Hangyul’s notebook resting on his knees.

“This was just an attempt to write porn! It’s so bad! Why are you doing this to us?” Hangyul cried out and Seungyoun finally realized _why_ Hangyul was so stressed about this.

“Wait, you want us to act out porn? That he wrote?” He pointed at his roommate, lookin at Dong Wook who smiled calmly and shook his head approving.  
“Exactly.”

“You can’t do this. Is that-”

“Legal? Totally. The both of you agreed.”

“Are you serious…” Seungyoun exhaled harshly, his arms akimbo.

Dong Wook clapped his hands once. “Now cut the crap and let’s do this! And please do it with passion!” He opened the notebook and the younger guys looked at each other, Seungyoun frowning and scared of what was about to come and Hangyul already embarrassed, knowing _exactly_ what he wrote.

The erotica master cleared his throat and started reading the scene out loud:

`They were facing each other. He had backed her up against the wall during her argument, and now stood right in front of her. She avoided to meet his eyes at all costs and turned her face away. The man looked down at her. What drove him clearly showing in his dark eyes. Maybe that was why she avoided them. Her breath remaining calm so that her chest wouldn’t touch his. It all would go down if the only touched _once_. `

Seungyoun stood close to Hangyul. As he was told he backed him up against the guest bedroom wall and put one hand next to his friends head. He focused on the wallpaper just above his head, trying to control his breathing. With every take the air moved the others messy hair slightly.

`He turned her face gently by using his thumb. Now she stared directly at his chest, tension crawling up her spine. `  
“You really can’t look at me, can’t you?” He asked tilting his head. His voice calm and smooth. There was no pressure in it but she felt the subtle commanding tone, he always used when talking to her. Especially in situations like this.  
He didn’t say those words, but he had taken Hangyul’s chin between his fingers and turned his head towards him. Now his eyes let go of the wallpaper and actually looked down on him. They’ve never been this close. He could see through the cleavage of his shirt how the others chest went up and down when breathing. It immediately reminded him of that one night, when he walked into the living room. 

Seungyoun shook his head internally. He couldn’t allow himself to actually get into this.

`“You’re not answering me-”`

“Do we really have to do this part of it? Like there’s nothing really happening.” Hangyul complained loudly with his face literally buried into Seungyoun’s chest.

“I just want you to create a mood.” Dong Wook defended his intentions and turned a page looking at what was about to come next. 

His student who was caught between Seungyoun and the wall scoffed. Seungyoun still gently held his chin between his fingers. Did Seungyoun noticed his inner mood swing?

“Can’t we just skip this? There’s no need for a mood.” Hangyul argued and exhaled against Seungyoun’s shirt.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get to the delicate part then. There are a few blanks in the next part so I want you to fill them with actions without me telling you what to do.”

Seungyoun remained suspiciously quiet while Hangyul scoffed.

`So he pushed her on the sheets before she could even answer and confronted her with another question.`

The two of them waddled the meter over to the bed and Hangyul willingly collapsed on it back first. Seungyoun awkwardly stood between the other’s parted knees, waiting for following instructions.

`“Is that why you wanted to be treated like this?” He looked down on her before he bend over and propped up his arms next to her head.  
“You don’t want to admit but I’m right, am I?”`

“Seungyoun?” It took both of them calling his name before he realized he had spaced out.

“Huh?”

“Get down here.” Hangyul commanded bugged. Yet Seungyoun didn’t move. His body simply refused to. This got way too serious for him.But before he could resist, Hangyul reached out for his belt and pulled him down nonchalant, which caused Seungyoun to basically fall onto him.

Dong Wook scoffed.

`“There is nothing you’re right about. You just so fed up with yourself that you won’t see it.”`

`He grinned. The fire inside of him grew with every word leaving her lips. Being so used to everyone obeying him, it gave him chills when someone didn’t. Blank. She now was on top of him, sitting on his blank, her skirt shoved up to her hips.`

“Wait what?” Seungoyun exclaimed confused, his hands still next to Hangyul's head, his arms already shaking a bit.

“I told you. It’s a blank now act it out!” Dong Wook commanded from his seat.

Hangyul opened his eyes in shock. “But I don’t wear a skirt!”  
But the old man just shrugged it off.  
“You’re not a woman either. Get creative!”

Seungyoun let himself drop on the bed next to Hangyul who sat up and looked at his friend confused. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“You wrote it, you should know!” Seungyoun said helplessly reflecting the others look.

“I left blanks because I know!”

Dong Wook cleared his throat audibly and Seungyoun sighed.  
“Just sit on my lap, maybe?”

“Dude, no!” His friend refused harshly. 

“It’s gonna be alright just do it for god sake. Let’s get this over with.”

Dong Wook observed them amusedly and thought that maybe his plan was going quite well?

Hangyul hesitated. This whole situation was so incredibly ridiculous. But he wanted to learn the craft, right?  
And Seungyoun was just his friend, so … no homo, right?  
…  
Right?  
He whined yet pulled himself together and swang a leg over Seungyoun who reflexively got hold of the other's hips.

Dong Wook continued reading but strangely neither one of them concentrated on what he was saying. Both were too caught up in the moment. Seungyoun hardly avoiding any eye contact, his grip tightening slowly.

Hangyul’s thighs started to tremble after a while because he didn’t want to put all his weight onto Seungyoun’s mid. He observed his roommates face closely and noticed how he turned more pink with every passing second. Firstly wondering why that’s so he tilted his head. But after Dong Wook paused to turn a page, he _felt_ why his friend was blushing.

***

He felt his look on him, while he reached out for his glass and downed the remaining beer inside of it. Since Hangyul left the dinner table, they didn’t say a word. Dong Wook just traced the rim of his glass with his fingertip and observed Seungyoun closely, who fished the last few vegetables out of the hot pot before turning of the heater.

With the electrical purr missing, the quiet presence of this huge old mansion set over the two men and the table between them.

“Can I get you some more?” Dong Wook asked in a neutral tone and pointed at the beer bottle.  
Seungyoun shook his head and waved off the offer as polite as possible.

“Thank you but I think I already had too much.” Which wasn’t a lie. The light falling down on them got more intense during the past ten minutes and his hands started to feel numb. His nose was itching.

“If that’s the case, then I need to ask you something.”

Seungyoun scoffed. “Was that your intention why you invited us to stay overnight? To get me hammered and ask me suspicious questions as soon as he’s gone?”

Dong Wook smiled caught in the act and nodded. “Indeed. But my question is rather simple than suspicious.”

“Don’t hold back. I’m probably too drunk to remember tomorrow what I’m telling you tonight anyway.” Seungyoun leaned back and chuckled.

“You like Hangyul, don’t you? In a different way than just colleagues or roommates.”

There was no point in denying that. Dong Wook already knew, he just wanted to make sure.  
So Seungyoun nodded.  
“Not just since recently. I had a crush on him during college. I think nobody noticed back then.”

Dong Wook thought for a while before continuing their conversation. “Does he know?”

“No. Well at least I don’t think so.”

“Do you think he feels the same?”

Seungyoun raised a brow and scoffed. “I doubt that.” He now poured himself another beer. “He might sees me as a friend. If even that. But I don’t think there’s more from his side.”

“What makes you think so?”

“Huh, just the way he acts towards me? He doesn’t seem to be interested in anyone, not just particularly me. I mean he did that thing once when he walked just across the living room in his undies just to prove me wrong.” 

It now was Dong Wook’s turn to raise a brow and Seungyoun explained until the elderly man nodded. “I actually expected him to be more neutral about today’s acting. I thought he would care less. So I don’t have to mention how surprised I am that he got so … emotional I’d say at a lack of terms. I noticed, that when I’m talking to him alone, he’s quite open about his concerns and such but as soon as you’re with us he changes. He’s closing up the gate inside of him and won’t let emotions in or out.”

“What do you think that means?” Seungyoun asked not really interested, already thinking about how to end this talk and going to bed as well.

“I think he got embarrassed in his own way. He's probably into you and just doesn’t know how to do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
So... I have a lot of personal things upcoming during the next week(s).  
Which means I might won’t make the chapter deadlines of my currents projects. If that’s the case then I’m already sincerely sorry.
> 
> I can also promise you that things will finally start going into a certain direction within Cpt 7.  
Finally.  
It took me long enough.
> 
> Fan-fictions are serious business. More or less.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[Let's chat!/Updates!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)


	7. run

He should hurry, he knew that. Not just because it was an important date yet also because he promised Hangyul to make it home in time once in a while. He figured today was one of these ‘once’s.

If his coworkers would just let him leave already. They insisted on going out after work.

Now he sat on the edge of his seat.

“It’s New Years Eve! You can’t just go home early and spend the night by yourself! That would be too sad!” They said.

Seungyoun couldn’t think of any way to tell them he won’t be alone at home. His colleagues would have assumed he’s back together with his girlfriend and by denying that, saying he lives with a guy now would have prompted weird questions. Not just these kind of ‘So you’re gay now?’ questions but more like … inappropriate questions. Their publisher had an entire office for gay erotica.

However, they made Baekjin pour him one drink after another and insisted on chugging them with him. There was no way Seungyoun would be able to drive home himself. He had to leave his car behind and take the subway. Which closed even before midnight. 

Seungwoo, Baekjin, Jinhyuk, Sunho and himself went to their usual bar across the street, they basically were locals there since day one. 

During his time with his girlfriend, Seungyoun didn’t accompany them that often. She would nag on him for coming home late and drunk. Explaining to her how important those ‘meetings’ are didn’t do any good.

In between their break-up and Hangyul he did spend a lot of nights there. Their company’s dorm was in walking distance so he didn’t have to worry about how much he drinks. Baekjin would always carry him home.  
This man’s tolerance was no joke.

“I need you to do this for me!” Baekjin said and was about to fill their glasses again. Seungwoo immediately took his out of range and held it close to his chest like a beloved plushy.

Jinhyuk had his head on the table already and Sunho willingly slid his glass over the tabletop so that Baekjin could give him a refill. Seungyoun just sighed.

“You’re saying this since we got here but I really have to go home.” His voice already slurred by the alcohol, he leaned back in his chair.

“To do what exactly?” Sunho wanted to know before downing his drink. “This is an opportunity my friend! Do you want to start this new chapter of your life alone? It’s a chance!”

“For what?” Jinhyuk scuffed, face pressing against the tabletop. 

“Taking new steps! Growing beyond yourself!” Sunho seemed to glow from the inside. Alcohol always somehow sparked this ridiculously optimistic side of him, meanwhile it just tired all of his friends.

“Sunho, without pacing anyone of us: We’re working as editors for pulps. And we’re continuing going to work next tuesday after holiday. So what about this exactly are the new steps you’re talking about?”

“Seungwoo, I know you don’t particularly _love_ this job. Yet where is your optimism?”

“It’s drowned in booze. Also, I agree with Seungyoun: I want to go home.”

Seungyoun stood up from his chair to formally shake Seungwoo’s hand across the table.  
“Thank you for your support in this hour of need, Han-ssi. I appreciate it!”

His elder colleague scoffed and bowed formally. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Okay just cut the crap, you two. If you wanna leave then go but I ain’t driving any one of you home.”

Seungyoun grabbed his coat in relief of finally being dismissed, shrugged and laughed. “It’s alright. We’ll just take the subway.”

As they left the bar, Baekjin yelled after them. “SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!”

***

He faltered up the stairs, carefully taking one step at a time.  
Since the light bulb was still burnt-out, he used the flashlight of his phone to find the correct key.

Being busy in the part-dark, he didn’t noticed that there was no light coming out beneath the door.

Though as he entered the flat and fell over some shoes, he immediately knew something was wrong. The entire hallway, bathroom and Hangyul’s room were pitch black. There was no way of seeing anything.

“Hangyul?” Seungyoun asked loudly, trying to cover up the slur and the worried tone of his voice. He turned the flashlight back on and didn’t take off his shoes as he stepped deeper into their place. Something told him he might have to run.

The kitchen was dark as well except the dense light of the streetlamps that fell through the almost entirely closed curtains. He touched something with the tip of his shoe and backed up immediately, goosebumps chasing down his spine. The empty bottle he just kicked, rolled over the tiles and bumped against a chair’s leg.

“Good Lord.” Seungyoun let out under his breath and grabbed his forehead. 

Suddenly the light turned on and someone popped a table firework.  
Seungyoun simply lost it, screamed a high pitched “Jesus, fuck!” and jumped so high he hit his head at the ceiling lamp.

Next thing he heard was Hangyul’s deep chuckle.  
Next thing he saw was his roommate sitting on the floor, leaning against the fridge.  
Next thing he did was stepping into shards.

“I thought you wouldn’t come home!” Hangyul mumbled and gave him a dumb smile.

“What do you mean you thought I wouldn’t come home?” Seungyoun looked at the mess, Hangyul was sitting in. His legs were covered in confetti, empty kids’ fireworks and beer bottles.  
“What the hell happened?” He crouched and roughly calculated the number of empty bottles.

“I got a bit lost.” His roommate said, now also counting the bottles. 

“Because you thought I won’t come home?” Seungyoun frowned.

“Not just that but yeah it was a big part of it I guess.” He digged up a letter from somewhere beneath the stack of returnables and handed it Seungyoun.

“What is this?” He opened the letter indecisively.

“Just read.”

Dear Hangyul,  
Even though a lot of time has passed since we last saw, I want you to know that the upcoming event still is a dark day for me, as well as it is for you and your brother. I hope the two of you get through it together, supporting each other and sharing a safe space.

Your father was an important in all of our lives and I still don’t get why he had to leave this place so early.

My sincerest condolences, still,

auntie.

Seungyoun went over the short text at least three times, before he dared to look at Hangyul again.

“Dude, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know your dad passed away.”

The other one shrugged it off. “I find it really funny how she wrote ‘I still don’t get why he had to leave this place so early’. Lol as if it’s a secret to anyone.”

“May I ask what happened?”

“He drove, completely hammered and crashed into another car, which was waiting at a red light. No big deal, really. The other driver got slightly injured. He was lucky. And my dad died.”

Seungyoun frowned even harder, now in shock about his friend’s indifferent words. “How can you say it’s no big deal?”

“Why do you even care? You never met him. If you’d have, you would understand. The last thing he said to me was how much of a disappointment I am. Isn’t that something nice to say to your own son?””

“That’s horrible though, believe me I can totally relate. But he can’t have been that bad of a person, I mean his sister obviously still thinks about it.” She waved with the empty envelope.

Hangyul bursted into loud and bone shaking laughter. “It’s not _his_ sister. It’s my mom’s who wrote the card. My father fucked her. That’s why she cares.”

“Ehm … okay, but still! Shouldn’t you be with Dohyoun?”

Hangyul shook his head and digged again in the mess around him. “That’s not quite what we do. Though I think he called a couple of times.”

Seungyoun got up and took a huge step across the bottles to sit down next to Hangyul, who moved aside to create some space.  
Sitting next to each other, they didn’t say anything for a while. Hangyul stuffed the card back into the envelope and tossed it aside.

“You want me to turn the lights back off? It was some kind of atmosphere before i came here.”

Hangyul nodded and Seungyoun reached for the switch. Now, only the street lights shined down onto their feet, the confetti and the mess around them.

After a while, Hangyul rested his head on Seungyoun’s shoulder. Both of their upper bodies were hidden by the shadows so he couldn't glimpse at his friend’s expression.

Hangyul exhaled heavily.

“How drunk are you?” Seungyoun calmly wanted to know and slightly turned his head, so that Hangyul’s hair brushed against his chin.

“Pretty drunk.” He scoffed and laid his head even heavier on the shoulder. He felt for Seungyoun’s hand and as he found it, he made them interlace their fingers.

“I’m sorry I didn't remember you.” Hangyul mumbled.

“That’s okay.” While stroking with his thumb the back of the writer’s hand, he smiled softly.

“I’m glad we met.” 

Seungyoun chuckled. “You think you will forget me again after our time living together?”

“Honestly, I don’t think that’ll happen.” He replied after thinking about the question beforehand.

Seungyoun wondered. “What makes you so sure?”

Hangyul lifted his head and the other could feel how close he came with his face. The tip of the younger’s nose touched his lobe and his breath brushed against his neck as he spoke with his usual husky voice.

“I don’t want our time to be over.”

Seungyoun turned around as he heard those words and instantly the second they faced each other in the dark, Hangyul closed the remaining centimeters between them and captured him in a soft lingering kiss.

***

“I need to figure something out!”

Dong Wook stood in the doorway, a bathrobe over his dark blue pyjamas and looked at Hangyul utterly confused. He had shown up two minutes ago, a scarf wrapped around his neck and hiding most of his face so that only his eyes, hair and the red tip of his nose were visible.

“Ehm … okay?”

“And break my habits!” His student added determined.

Dong Wook looked behind Hangyul, then to the left, to right and back to the left again. He was scanning the snowy landscape for Seungyoun to find out if this was just a new years prank of these crackheads.

“And that’s why you show up on my doorstep at this early hour?”

“Yes!”

He looked at his watch. “It’s 6 am.”

“Yes!”

“Is it _that_ urgent?” He exhaled, noticing Hangyul wouldn’t leave anytime soon.

“It is!”

“And … you just want to pass by or you want to move in? I see you brought a backpack.”

Hangyul looked over his shoulder and tightened the grip on the strap.  
“Could I stay here for some time? I want to focus on the book and I feel like there is too much distraction at my place. I will definitely help you around the house! And I could also pay rent.”

If you help you don’t need to pay anything. I’ll give Chaemin the time off. Yet … are you okay? You seem like you’re running from something.”

“No it’s all fine.” He heavily shook his head as a sign how _fine_ it was.

“Well then, come in? It’s too cold out here.”

***

Seungyoun looked up from his desktop as someone entered his office. He recognized his father’s harsh way of opening doors before he looked at him.

“Well, that’s a surprise.” He pushed back from his desk and looked at him.  
His father didn’t even greet him and leaned against the dresser across the room. 

“It wouldn’t be a surprise, if you’d answer my calls.”

Seungyoun scoffed. “And why should I do that? So you can insult me again? Or make me work a job I hated?”

His dad shook his head and crossed his arms. “It’s different this time.”

“You came to apologize to your son?”

“Why should I apologize? There is no need for that.”

Seungyoun inhaled sharply. “What else could it be?”

“Your mother and I want you to quit.” He looked around in the tiny office and scanned every bit of it. The stacks of papers, the erotica on the shelf and the dirty coffee mugs with their company's name on it.

“You want me to quit? Why all of sudden? Did you decide I suffered enough or am I becoming a shame for the family?”

“We think it’s about time to return to your _actual_ life.”

Seungyoun just raised an eyebrow.

“I want to offer you a job at the company. This way you would learn about our business and actually earn money in an _appropriate_ way.”

“Wait, is that an offer or a command? You tend to confuse these terms from time to time.”

His father exhaled sharply and closed his eyes, holding on to his composure.

“There’s more.” He continued, eyes still closed. “Your mother sat down with a group of consultants and they discussed possible partners for the company. It’s just a logic consequence to expand the business after last year’s numbers.”

“Good for you.” Seungyoun said tersely and got up. “If you excuse yourself now, I have a ton of neither important nor appropriate work to do.” He motioned towards the door.

“I’m not done yet.”

“Well, look that.” He sighed and sat down again.

“Most of the possible partner companies’ CEOs have daughters. And it seems like a lot of them are interested in the old fashioned way of business contracts.” Now the tall man looked him directly in the eye, searching for his son’s reaction.

“If you’re implying I should marry some o these rich wanna-be ladies, then you better leave.”

“Hear me out.” His father defended and pushed off the dresser. “If we should find someone that fits for you, the next step would be to pass the company down on you. Of course, I would work as your consultant for a while until you got the hang out of it. Yet the firm would belong to you eventually.”

“I could also wait until you die. I’m the only one who would enharitate that monster.”

“Honestly, I expected you to react that way. But your mother wanted me to tell you anyway. You have the choice between quitting this job peacefully or me giving your boss _a reason_ to fire you.”

Seungyoun frowned. “What are you talking about? I’m not relying or using your money to get by. I use my own wage. Nor do I live in one of your appartements. What’s the point?”

“The point is, that you don’t understand.” His father stepped forward and now stood in front of the desk. “There is no choice for you in this scenario. You’re going to quit this job, start at the company and see the women your mother picked.”

“Did you ever hear something about free will? I’m not gonna quit! I said I hated this job but during the past months it finally got interesting. The project we’re currently working on is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” Now he stood up himself, to face his father on the same level.

“This is not a negotiation.”

“Let’s make it one.” 

Surrounded by silence, father and son looked at each other.

“I quit the job right now, this second and I don’t have to marry one of these CEO daughters.”

“You finish now, I won’t get you fired and you marry one of these CEO daughters.”

“That’s not how negotiation works, dad. Jesus, how do you manage a company?”

“You get to finish your project, after the publication you’ll quit yourself and you will start meeting with these women from today on.”

Seungyoun grinded his teeth while looking at his dad. This man was even more stubborn than he was himself. Chances were high that, if he didn’t accept the deal right now, his dad would storm out of the room and tell his boss something that would get him fired. This way he wouldn’t get to work with Lee Dong Wook anymore and Hangyul would probably never forgive him, since Seungyoun was the one person who got this all started.

He silenced and scanned his father while thinking through his options.  
Maybe there was some way getting around the marriage if he just scared all the girls off? Or if he behaved like an ass maybe.  
There had to be some way.

“Alright. I’ll get to finish the project and I’ll do as mom wishes. But I get to decide whom I’m getting married to.”

“As far as your mother gives her consent.” His father turned towards the door. “It was good seeing you. Maybe you should stop by for dinner once in a while.”

Seungyoun scoffed degratorily.  
“You can’t be serious.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How to write negotiations if you can't negotiate?  
You don't.
> 
> There is no such thing as prediction.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[let's chat/Updates](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)
> 
> ofc have lots of fun reading!!


	8. disclosure

“So …” Dong Wook put down the newspaper and eyed Hangyul who was working at their text. “are you going to tell me what’s going on at home or are you just staying until the end of my days, hoping to inherit the house?”

“That would actually be one hell of a plan.” The kid turned pages in his notebook, muffling the words into his scarf. Even though they sat in the kitchen over a hot cup of coffee the room was still cold. Tiles weren't made to keep the warmth.

“Hangyul, you know I don’t have a problem with you staying here but if there’s something you’re running from, you need to tell me.”

The senior leaned forward, examining his opponent closely.

Looking up from his laptop, he sighed. “Why?” 

“Does Seungyeon at least know you're here?”

“Yes.” His student answered shortly and focused on the document again. Dong Wook raised a brow, leaning back. The chair made a cracking sound.

“How come? Did you tell him?” 

“Not exactly.” Hangyul mumbled, busy typing and checking something.

“Then how does he know?” He didn’t even try to cover up his suspicious undertone. Instead he didn’t take his look off of him as he reached out for his cup. Usually he treated Hangyul as a colleague but in this case he felt very strongly how young he still was and what big part of him was a child, regardless of his age.. Especially in situations that concerned Seungyoun in any way.

“I left a note.”

“A note? What did it say?”

“That I might be gone for a while.”

Now he finally knew he was right about the ongoing situation. Hangyul really was running from something and he was already pretty sure about what happened.  
Yet making Hangyul saying it out loud was somewhat part of his plan.

“Jesus, what’s going on? Did you call him since you’re here? Telling him you’re okay?” 

He shrugged it off. “No. Why should I? If you break it down it’s none of his business.”

Shaking the rude answer off, Dong Wook exhaled deeply. “Did he hear anything from you during the past two weeks?”

“I texted him.”

So there was a little hope, he thought. “Great! What did you text him?”

“That he should close the windows when it’s raining heavily.”

He needed a few second s to let that sink in. What a kid he was. A responsible house owner, yet an emotional kid.  
“Alright, you’re gonna tell me what’s going on. Why do you act like a teenager? Did something happen? Is it work related?”

“It’s not about work.”

“So it’s something between you two?” He asked, clearly remembering the conversation he had that one night with Seungyoun about how he liked Hangyul. Up until now he hasn’t told Hangyul about it and apparently Seungyoun didn’t either. Or maybe he did. PErhaps that was the source of all evil.

Hangyul closed his laptop and looked at Dong Wook.

“I don’t get this. How can you … how do you manage all this? How can anyone manage it?”

Dong Wook blinked, surprised about the sudden mood swing of his opponent.  
“I’m afraid you need to be a little bit more specific.” No need to mention he really had no idea what Hangyul was going for.

“This.” He pointed at his laptop and the notes nearby.

“Erotica and all the stuff that comes with it. We’re working on it for such a long time now yet it still feels like I’m not getting it done right. You on the other hand get to talk about it so freely. Even during dinner.” He pushed back his chair, going with the hand through his hair and exhaling strongly.

It’s really still bothering him, Dong Wook thought. He’d never imagined that. But maybe it was a bigger deal than he had assumed. And perhaps Hangyul needed to know this first, before he would open up about what happened between him and Seungyoun.  
So the master leaned forward, hands folded on the table top.

“Go ahead. Ask. What do you want to know? I’ll answer honestly, just this one time.”

The young man already started to speak, as Dong Wook raised his hand to make him shut. “Only, if you’re going to tell me why you’re here, afterwards.”

Hangyul nodded and the man put his hand back down. 

“Why does it seem so real? Everything you write seems to be so conclusive and … lifelike. It is as if you’ve seen it all, tried it all, … _done_ it all.” Hangyul seemed as if this question was bothering him for quite a while now. His brows frowned, serious eyes but a curious aura surrounding him.

Dong Wook sighed and got up. “Come one, kiddo. I’ll just show you.”

“Show me what?” Hangyul asked, following him out of the kitchen, up the stairs. Due to the cold season the house was even darker than usually. Both of them wore knitted sock and at least two pullovers.

It was an old house, so there wasn’t something like a central heating. Some rooms had heaters but they would usually just put on the one in the living room and in their bedrooms. 

“I haven’t been up here for years.” Dong Wook exclaimed as he opened a small door at the top of the stairs. He entered the room and sighed.

“It’s so dusty in here. Oh also, don’t be scared.”

Hangyul chuckled and frowned. Why should I be- What the hell?”

He stopped next to the old man and stared around the room. He wanted to look _everywhere_ but also was too ashamed to actually look at anything the same time.

“Is that how you-”

Dong Wook nodded, arms crossed in front of his chest. “You wanted to know.”

“Yes but I never thought that…” Hangyul was apparently looking for the right words but his colleague helped him out. 

“That I’ve _done_ all that?” He grinned. “I did.”

The room they both stood in, was nothing else than a storeroom, basically. Yet what Dong Wook stored inside of it was exceptionally remarkable. 

Hangyul felt the urge to walk over to a shelf to take a closer look but he couldn’t. 

“Feel free to have a look. It’s all clean, don’t worry.” He leaned in the doorway, aware of the stairs behind him.

“How do you clean those things?” His student asked, pointing at a collection on shiny devices. 

“Plugs? You just put them in the dishwasher if they're stainless. Though I always recommend to get the stainless ones otherwise it can get quite nasty depending on whom you’re with.” 

Hangyul turned around a disbelieving expression on his face. “You used all of them?”

Dong Wook nodded peacefully, obviously enjoying the younger’s shock. 

“What about these? Like how do you make sure nothing goes … missing?”  
“What kind of a magic trick do you expect? You count them. You count how many of them go in and how many you’re pulling out again.”

Hangyul stared at the anal bead. Dong Wook could see by the way he slightly moved his lips, how he thought about it. Imagined it. Tried to grasp how it gets in all the way.

How it _worked_.

“What if-” The words fell off his lips slowly, one after another. “What if one of them actually goes missing?”

“Well.” Dong Wook chimed in between chuckles. “Then you either _wait_ until it comes out naturally or you hurry to an emergency room.”

Hangyul immediately took a step back from the shelf and shuddered.

“Why would anyone do this?? Did you make them?!”

“Good lord, no! It was always mutual.”

“But why did people do that?”

“Because, and I think that’s what you don’t quite get, people are curious. And shameless. More than they would ever admit in public. But once you give them a safe space, they’ll open up to you.” 

Hangyul squinted at Dong Wook and cocked his head. He seemed to have hard times believing him.

“Where did you find the people to … do this with?”

He shrugged. “In clubs.”

“In clubs?” Hangyul assured that he heard right.

“Yes. Of course you can’t show up there alone and just ask people if they are down for such things. If you’re alone they’ll think you are either a pervert or a creeper or both, eventually. You need someone to go with you. A wingman basically.”

“A wingman. As in dating?”

“Exactly. Not to brag but I had the best wingman you think of. Not only we were friends since college but we also had different interests in people.”

“So you always went out together?”

“Yes. In the beginning it took me a while to get Yoo to go with me but after the first time he actually _participated_ he was the one asking about going again. He was hooked up, basically.”

Hangyul went silent. Seemingly giving all of it a thought, he chose his words carefully before speaking up.

“I see it now. Why your books are so popular.”

“But you still don’t really understand it.”

The younger admitted by nodding and Dong Wook gave him a sign to follow him back downstairs.

They ended up in the living room, where they, once again, sat down on the sofa.

“I think I see your problem and I also think there is a away to solve it but honestly it requires most of the work from you. If you don’t want it, then it’s a dead end. You don’t need to answer me, just listen. You remember that day when you and Seungyoun came over and we had dinner together and you went to bed?”

Hangyul nodded. As if he would forget what Dong Wook made them do.

The man continued:  
“I’m just going to make it short: He likes you. More than you just think. Though he asked me to keep it a secret and I know it’s not my point to tell you about it but I figure you’re liking him as well. And running from it. I don’t know what happened at your place and why you’re here exactly but I guess it has at least something to do with it. It’s up to you if you’ll tell me or not. But I can see this going down from here if you don’t talk either to me or to him. Because staying away from him won’t fix anything.”

He eyed his student closely. Obviously he was right about everything he said. Otherwise Hangyul would have interrupted him to clear things up or correct him. But he didn’t. Dong Wook couldn’t tell what was thinking about but he would start to talk sooner or later. Question was about what.  
“Did he tell you? Did you get cold feet and ran? If that’s the case, then it’s totally fine, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“That’s not it.”

Dong Wook nodded. “Okay, what else then?”

Hangyul wrigned his hands, obviously fighting an inner discord. After a while he found the courage to speak and what he said was nowhere what Dong Wook expected.

“I kissed him. The night before I showed up at your door. It was a pretty messed up night and at the end of it was the only good that came out of it. You must know I was wasted and I didn’t know what made me do it. But all I remember is that he didn’t hesitate or pull back. And that wasn’t what I expect him to do.”

“What did you expect?”

“I thought he would stop me because he isn’t feeling the same. Though I’m not even sure _what_ I’m feeling. You must know I think there wasn’t one person up until this point in my life that actually liked me.”

“How about your brother?”

“That’s way different. He didn’t chose being with me or spending time with me. He was born my younger brother, which means he doesn’t know it any different.”

Dong Wook interlaced his fingers and propped his elbows up on his knees. “And now you…?”

“Now I don’t understand why he let me kiss him and also why he doesn't call. Isn’t that what you do if you like someone? Don’t you call?”

The sudden change of the situation confused the older man so much that he had to interrupt his student. “Wait wait wait. Are you here because you _want_ him to call? Like is this a test?”

“Maybe? I don’t know how to deal with this!” Hangyul wined and seemed like he desperately wanted to disappear. He _knew_ he messed up badly.

“Okay young man.” Dong Wook got up and shuffled to the phone in the corner of the room. “The two of you are getting this over with _tonight_. And if I have to lock you up in a room until you talked about it, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

Before Hangyul could say anything else, Dong Wook had dialed Seungyoun’s number and the younger had to watch him inviting his roommate/crush over to dinner.

***

The guest room of Lee Dong Wook’s house was on the second floor. Windows disclosing a beautiful view over the mountain ridge and the, not so far away, city. It’s lights brightened the night sky above it but didn’t reach up to Seungyoun, who stood by the window, his back turned towards the room.

They went to bed half an hour ago, after Dong Wook opened the last bottle of beer which he mainly finished by himself. Seungyoun wasn’t drunk. Tipsy if at all. 

Someone must have turned on the heater in their room quite a while ago because it was warm enough to only wear sweatpants. 

He stood in complete darkness, only lightened by the moon and his cold shine.

Some seconds passed until he heard footsteps in the hallway and the door slid open. Hangyul was living in this room the past weeks, as Seungyoun had learned during dinner. So he was basically the only guest crushing there that night. Dong Wook had asked them if they were okay with sharing a room for the night and of course they agreed. Both of them didn’t want to cause this man more circumstances than necessary. He just didn’t mention there was only one bed.

Hangyul hung his towel over the chair and put his clothes back into the small drawer. Seungyoun didn’t see it but he listened to every move closely. As he heard how his friend sat down on the bed, he finally spoke still facing the window.

“Why did you leave?”

He could hear Hangyul dropping his glasses on the nightstand. “I didn’t leave.”

“Yeah you did. You disappeared over night and all you left behind was a note saying you might be gone for a while. that’s textbook leaving.”

A sigh. “Are you mad?” 

Seungyoun mumbled. “A little.”

A few seconds passed silently during which Hangyul wrapped the blanket around himself, sitting on the bed and looked at Seungyoun’s now blurry silhouette against the moonlight. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” He wanted to know, whispering.

“Because I thought you left me. I didn’t want to be the guy you calls after you trying to make you come back.” Seungyoun replied shortly and shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

“Why not?”

“Just because you kissed me neither means we’re in a relationship nor does it mean i own you or that you have to tell me everything you do. You’re a grown man you can leave and go wherever you like.”

“Right, right.”

He now turned around exposing his back to the cold window. Seungyoun looked down at Hangyul, slightly relieved he couldn't see his face and the expression on it.

“I was worried tho. Thought something might happened to you but then you texted me the night with the thunderstorm and I figured you’re not too far gone.”

“I was here.”

Seungyoun nodded. He had thought so. “The entire time?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know where else I should go.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? Or why didn’t the old man tell me?”

Hangyul sighed and avoided the other’s look. “Because it’s none of his business and he knows it. He’s too old for this kind of child games that’s why he invited you over tonight.”

Seungyoun suddenly frowned, which Hangyul of course couldn't see. Though he noticed the change in his tone. 

“What kind of game are you talking about?”

“I _wanted_ you to call. I was literally waiting for it. Or a text. Anything. A reason to come back.” He covered half of his face with the blanket just to hide his face from the other.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Seungyoun asked with a surprisingly soft voice, taking a few small steps towards Hangyul, who mumbled:  
“I wasn’t sure what to do!”

“About what?”

“I kissed you and I thought you would stop me and -”  
Suddenly Seungyoun was on top of the bed with one knee, pulling away the blanket from the younger’s face, making him look at him.  
This new, whiny side of Hangyul was weirdly upsetting him. It made him angry how he couldn't just say what he wants or talk about it like a grown-up. Instead he hid behind a blanket like a kid, waiting for him to figure it out.

“Hangyul, why the hell should I stop you?”

“I don’t know!” He whined up, defending himself, not knowing what else to say. Basically because he didn’t know the reason himself.

“Then think!” Seungyoun demanded, fed up with this situation. “You kissed me. I liked it. Why should I stop you and why in gods name did you run?”

Hangyul looked up to him and for the first time tonight Seungyoun actually met his eyes.

“I thought that can’t be. Like … you can’t feel the same way as I do. I-it just never happened before! There has never been a situation like this. I’m scared, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
It's slowly and steady coming to an end now.
> 
> There is no such thing as prediction.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[let's chat!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)
> 
> ofc have lots of fun reading!!


	9. Being out late

He knocked on the door. No answer. Maybe he should just walk in? It wasn’t as if he doesn’t had an appointment.   
He knocked again. Still no answer.

This was so ridiculous, really.

After he waited about three minutes, he tried again and carefully peaked inside the office. Seungyoun stood by the window. One hand in his pocket, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up, he talked to someone on the phone. He didn’t turn around as Hangyul entered the room. Though as he carefully closed the door, Seungyoun finally seemed to notice him and took a quick look over his shoulder, greeting him briefly.

Hangyul scoffed. What kind of game was this?  
They didn’t see each other for nearly two months. No meet ups, no visits, no calls.  
Then Seungyoun made an appointment via Dong Wook and now he didn’t even look at him?

“Yes, sure thing. I’ll call you back first thing tomorrow, after I was able to take a look at the cover. Quite. Yes. Okay, see you.” He hung up, breathed and then _finally_ turned around.

The way he looked made it hard for Hangyul to control his mimic. Since he last seen him, Seungyoun seemed to have lost a lot of weight. He looked skinny, his lips weren’t as rose and his aura wasn’t as bubbly as he remembered it.

“Hi. Sorry I made you wait.” He reached over the table to shake Hangyul’s hand formally, who got up to do so. Still not able to hide his shock.

“Everything alright?” Seungyoun asked, frowning at Hangyul’s facial expression.

“Yeah, sure.” Both of them sat down, the desk between them. “I was just wondering, why you suddenly made an appointment. It’s not as if we always discussed work things and deadlines at home.”

Seungyoun chuckled. “I figured it would be more formal. However, did you bring the draft?”

Hangyul nodded slowly while taking out the papers. More formal? Why? Because they basically confessed their love for each other in the middle of the night two months ago and never heard from the other again?

“It’s really just a draft at the moment, but if you’re planning on pushing the deadline I think we can make it happen.”

His opponent leafed through the whole stack of pages. “That would be great. The lead is basically up our asses about this thing so we have to hurry a bit. I would have told you sooner but it wasn’t a sure thing until yesterday.”

“It’s okay. We might pull an all nighter but it’s gonna work out.” Hangyul was still left in disbelief about how Seungyoun really just talked about work. He didn’t even look at him.

For a while none of them said a word. The silence was awkward. As if both of them knew there was something that had to be said but they didn't know how.

“The old man is doing fine?” Seungyoun asked, still reading the draft.

“Yep.”

“Listen.” He looked up and for the first time today looked Hangyul in the eye. “Are you free on thursday night?”

Hangyul who had started gazing out of the window behind Seungyoun blinked and snapped out of it.

“Huh? Thursday? This week?”

“Yes.” Seungyoun handed him the draft back.

“You just told me we have less time than expected and now you want us to meet?” He raised a brow.

“It’s only the evening and maybe night. Let’s go grab a drink, I promise it won’t be that intense. It’s just us two, no others.”

“You want us to go for drinks?”

Seungyoun nodded. “I’ll pick you up at the main station at 8pm?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll-”

“That’s settled then.” He exclaimed and got up. “I’m sorry for the rush I just have somewhere else to be by now. The draft looks good, I hope you won’t have any troubles finishing it.”

He walked towards the door, picking up his coat from the hanger. Hangyul also got up to leave, still confused about the sudden end of their conversation.

“Eh, thank you.”

“Thursday, 8pm, main. I’ll see you there.” 

Before Hangyul could say anything else, he found himself in the hallway looking after Seungyoun who jogged towards the elevators and disappeared seconds later.

What did just happen?

Hangyul himself ordered an elevator, got in and left on the ground-floor. Caught up in his thoughts he shuffled through the main hall, passing the main entrance the second time today and exposing himself to the cold spring air.

He turned around and headed towards the subway station, as he saw him again.

Seungyoun.

He talked to a woman, who was leaning against a black BMW. He chuckled just the second Hangyul looked over there. She was skinny, her hair dark brown, beautiful eyes with a slight squint. 

The woman smiling brightly, motioned Seungyoun to get in the car. He blew a kiss on her cheek, before walking around the vehicle and got inside. He shouted something about coffee and she laughed, while she was getting behind the steering wheel.

Hangyul froze on the spot.

What the hell did he just witness?

He thought Seungyoun’s feelings for him just died over the past two months. Maybe because Hangyul couldn’t tell him exactly how he felt or couldn’t commit a 100%.

But he never expected Seungyoun to be with someone else by now. He never expected Seungyoun to be the first one to ever break his heart for sure.

***

“If you’re upset, why are you even going?”

He could still hear Dong Wook ask. It was the last thing he said to Hangyul before he left through the door to meet up with Seungyoun.

“I’m going to tell him how pissed I am.” That was his answer nearly an hour ago but by now his attitude changed and he wasn’t sure about his own intentions anymore.

He couldn’t tell if he came here to punch Seungyoun’s face or to tell him how much he missed him. Maybe Seungyoun planned on telling him about his girlfriend tonight.  
Maybe he planned on telling him he’s done with her and that he’s coming back. If there even was anything to return to.

Whatever it was he would have to show up first. By now Seungyoun was 20 minutes late. Which was pretty unlike him. 

Hangyul leaned against a lamppost and looked at his phone. Even though it was early spring already, it still got real cold at night and his phone’s battery was dying more quickly than expected. Give it another 20 minutes and he would miss every call Seungyoun might gave him.

Luckily he turned around a corner just that second. Even with twenty meters between them Hangyul could tell Seungyoun was already wasted. The way he walked and the way he smiled at him was evidence enough. 

“I thought you said grabbing drinks _with_ me. Not without me.” Hangyul said, as Seungyoun reached him.

“I know, I’m sorry. I got a bit ahead of myself.”

His breath smelled like a bar itself but Hangyul didn’t mention it. “Yeah. A little. Where are we going tho?”

“Just follow me!” Seungyoun exclaimed, turning around. His voice already slurred from the booze. “I know the way!” He chuckled.

Hangyul himself sighed and rolled his eyes. “In this state I actually doubt that.” 

They didn’t say anything as they walked through the nightly streets close to the central station. After some time the road took a slight pitch. Seungyoun didn’t say a word and Hangyul got the feeling that their walk made him sober up a bit.

It took him a while until he noticed _where_ they were heading to.

“Seungyoun, are you sure this is the right way?”

“Yep.”

“I suppose we aren’t grabbing a drink?”

“Nope.”

They walked past the first small hotels and Hangyul’s suspicion hardened with every step. He looked around, at the single entrances of the more than shady hotels. Nearly every single one had a colorful board in front of it advertising prices and rooms. Some of them even showed pictures of women.  
He was so busy looking at the signs and trying to figure out Seungyoun’s intentions, that he didn’t notice as his friend stopped so he bumped right into him.

“We’re there. Told you I know the way.” Seungyoun smiled cheekily and entered one of the hotels.

“Wait!” Hangyul chased after him and managed to stop him in the empty foyer. “What are we doing here? You said we were going for drinks. Not a love hotel.”

Seungyoun sighed. “Would you have showed up if I told you I was gonna go here?”

He hesitated and shook his head. “Probably not, but anyways, what’s going on?”

Seungyoun turned around and got a room for them at the machine, before he spoke to Hangyul again.

He knew he could just turn around and leave. It was none of his business what Seungyoun did on a thursday night. He could walk away.

But his curiosity and maybe also his concern for this man made him stay.

Seungyoun tinkled with the keys of their room. “Don’t worry.” He said. “I just want to talk in private.”

***

The door clicked shut behind them, as they entered the small room. It silenced all the noise coming from the street and echoing in the hallway.

As soon as Seungyoun put the card into the electricity box, he wheeled around and backed Hangyul up against the wall right next to the door.

Before he could protest in any way, Seungyoun was already molding their lips together, capturing the writer in a desperate and wanting kiss. 

Seungyoun only let go of him for a few seconds to get rid of his coat but that was enough time for Hangyul to speak up, already panting.

“You said you just wanted to talk!” He blamed but also got rid of his jacket as well.

“Well,” Seungyoun smirked. “I lied.”

They crushed their lips back together, Seungyoun instantly shoved his tongue between the other’s lips, who just let it happen.  
Hangyul had literally no idea why he wasn’t trying to get away as fast as possible or where he took that sudden courage from. Perhaps it was his anger that turned into the will to get Seungyoun back. He was willing to fight for him, to keep him away from that beautiful woman with the insanely expensive car.  
And this was the only possible way to woo him right now.

Seungyoun pressed his chest against Hangyul’s, his hands trailed down his waist, as he started kissing the other’s jaw and neck. 

“I saw you with that woman.” Hangyul breathed out over his friend’s shoulder. His voice wavering. 

Seungyoun didn’t answer. Instead he braced his fingers around Hangyul’s waist, slowly rolling his hips against him. He seemed too busy to answer.

The younger let out a surprised gasp and tucked his left hand into Seungyoun’s hair while holding on to his shoulder with the other one.

“What do you think she’d say to this?” He asked, not entirely sure why. Jealousy got hold of him and the fact Seungyoun just did _this_ to him confused even the last single bit of him.

The other groaned deeply.   
“I simply don’t care.”

“Maybe you should.”

Seungyoun let go of him, just to stare into his eyes. His hair already a huge mess, his lips plump and swollen and his look more than wanting. 

“Do I look like I care?”

***

Hangyul woke up to a surprisingly familiar scenery.  
Once again he looked at Seungyoun’s silhouette against the cold moonlight, now mixed with the city’s photopollution.

It took the other a second to realize Hangyul woke up.

Seungyoun wordlessly reached over to his jeans and pulled a bunch of keys out of the pocket.

He tossed it on the sheets.   
“It’s the key to your apartment. I moved out last week. There is no need for you to live with Dong Wook anymore. I also fixed the water heater and the dripping tap.”

Hangyul gaped at the keys unable to grasp what was going on.

“Why did you …”

“I’m getting married.”

Silence.

“Tomorrow.” Seungyoun added before he got up and started putting his clothes back on. 

Hangyul sat on the bed, partly covered in white sheets and wildly stared at him.

“You’re _what_?” He whispered scarcely audible.

“This is my buck’s night. I’m gonna be at the chapel tomorrow morning.” Seungyoun looked at him for a second while speaking, then he turned his face away and started to look for his jacket. He didn’t want to torun on the lights.

Hangyul got up and followed him through the small room, fist clenched around the keys and only wearing his pants.

“Is this a joke to you - am _I_ a joke to you?”

Seungyoun picked up his coat as he found it and put it on, still avoiding him. 

“Hangyul, it’s not that I-”

The younger grabbed his shoulder firmly and forced him to turn around. All of sudden all his anger boiled up at once.

“Whatever it is, say it to my face!” He pressed out.

“It’s not the way you think.” Seungyoun whispered, his words shaking and secretly tearing up.

“What is it? Tell me! I have enough of this bullshit!” 

Seungyoun suddenly smiled softly, a tear rolling down his cheek, as he cupped Hangyul’s face with his left hand.

“You want to know?”

Hangyul didn’t answer he just observed the other, hardly ignoring the tears and the sadness, keeping up the anger as self defense. 

“I love you, Lee Hangyul. I did since coll-” 

Hearing those words, Hangyul hauled off with the fist containing the keys and stroke a blow right into Seungyoun’s face.

Considering this the biggest lie ever told and being completely played.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update on Friday because I’m bored 🥳
> 
> There is no such thing as prediction.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[Let's chat!/Updates!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)


	10. honeymoon

Two weeks later.

Even though he was convinced that no one would open the door, he rang twice. The janitor let him in after he explained his personal connection to the owner of the appartement. He took the elevator up to the 11th floor and now stood in front of their apartment's door.

_Kim/Cho_.

He wondered. Not just that both of them kept their names, her’s was the first one on the small plate.

Of course Hangyul knew that Seungyoun wasn’t that kind of man who cared much about those things but he somehow assumed they would go with the usual procedure of her taking his name.

He rang again.

For the records, he wasn’t here entirely on his own will. Dong Wook made him go. Partly.  
Even though Hangyul assured him the married couple would still be on their honeymoon either out of the country or at least out of town by now, the old man insisted on him going.

He wanted him to apologize. Hangyul had explained the whole situation to him the same night it happened.  
His reaction wasn’t quite as He hoped it would turn out. Wishing for something more … supporting. But instead Dong Wook just nodded and sighed.  
“That must have been a tough call for him to make. I’m sure he had his reasons.”

As Hangyul told him he hit him, he got scolded. Followed by a whole TED Talk about violence and self control.

He had to promise to apologize.

The door was opened by exactly the last person Hangyul wanted to see right now. He was hoping on just catching Seungyoun, apologizing and then leaving again. Quick and easy.

But instead of him, _his wife_ opened the door.

“Yes? What can I help you with?” She asked rather friendly. Hangyul recognized her immediately. There was no way of mistaking the slight, adorable squint.

“I’m looking for Seungyoun. Ehm … I’m a friend of his and I wanted to talk to him.” He stammered unsure how to face her. How much did she know? About him and Seungyoun?

The woman smiled politely and opened the door for Hangyul to get inside. “He’s gone right now but he should be home soon. Can I get you something?”

She lead him through the short hallway right into the very spacious living area. And his mind just went on vacation.

He simply couldn’t understand how Seungyoun _voluntarily_ lived with him in his small two bedroom place if he was able to afford _this_. There was no way he did that in his own free will.

Returning to the present he answered her question with a light delay.  
“No thank you, I’m good.” He mumbled while letting his eyes wander over the interior.

The place looked like a penthouse. The living room/dining area simply passed into an open kitchen with a huge fridge, kitchen island and fancy barista coffee machine. The whole room had huge windows and white walls. Beige curtains framing the view and the carpet on the parkett floor absorbed the sound of their steps completely. They even had a grand piano. Though he wasn’t sure who of them played or if it was just decorative OR if they had someone coming in playing for them. 

They sat down on the black leather sofa. She crossed her legs, before reaching out her hand.  
“I’m sorry, where are my manners. I’m Kim Wooseok.”

He took her hand and shook it carefully.  
“Lee Hangyul. It’s actually none of my business but I noticed you kept your name?”

She tilted her head with a question mark hovering above her.

“It’s on the plate above the bell. It drew my attention.” He explained and her look cleared up.

“Oh, right. Yes, I kept my name. I’m feeling more comfortable with it.” She eyed him for a few seconds, then she bit her lips. “You know, your name tells me something but i can’t quite recall what it was… Hangyu, Hangyul…” Wooseok gave it a thought.

Impossible. Like why should Seungyoun tell her about their past? Maybe he just mentioned his name as they talked about work or maybe she knew his name from a bookstore or something? Well, she was probably aware that they lived together so maybe it was just that.

“I wrote a book. A couple of books actually but only one is somewhat known. Perhaps that’s why it sounds familiar to you.”

Her eyes lit up. “Right! You’re the writer that lived with my husband and screwed him a few weeks ago!” She clapped her hands once. “I knew it sounds familiar. You’re also responsible for his black eye on our wedding day?”

Hangyul froze in shock. He felt caught with the hand in the cookie jar. How did she know all that? And how could she react in such a seemingly positive way? 

He hesitated to think before he started stammering our words trying to keep his dignity.  
“I-I’m sorry, I don’t get it. How do you know all this?”

She shrugged. “Seungyoun told me.”

“He … told you.” He exhaled rabidly which felt like all air leaving his body. 

“Yes.”

“And you married him regardless of all that?”

“Sure.”

“What?” Shaking his head and frowning in disbelief he lost the thread. There was basically no way for him to put all of it together logically. 

“So, there might be a huge misunderstanding here.” Wooseok said, leaning forward. “I think I know where you got it all wrong.”

“I got it wrong?” Hangyul asked in a lost high pitched voice.

She stood up and leaned against the grand piano. “See, I guess you assume we got married because we love each other, right?”

“Why else should you marry someone.”

Her laughter chimed over the living room until it got absorbed by the carpet. 

“The world you’re coming from must be so nice.” Wooseok sang in a dreamy tone. Then she suddenly got serious.  
“They _made_ us marry, sweetheart. There was no choice.”

“I don’t get it.” Hangyul felt extremely stupid the way she talked to him but this wasn’t the right time to prove his intellect.

“Let me explain it to you, alright? So last year the company of Seungyoun’s parents made major profit. Like _major_ profit.” She used her hands to visualize how much. “So their logical conclusion is to buy smaller companies as long as they have the capital to expand their business.”

“His parent’s own a company? The publisher?”

Wooseok blinked over the interruption and bursted into laughter. “That nasty firm he was working for? No!” She pointed out of the window at a skyscraper with the letters ‘COil’ on it. “_That’s_ their company.”

“Seungyoun’s parents own COil.” Hangyul phrased it as a statement yet it was rather a question he really needed to be answered. Luckily Wooseok got his back there.

“Yes. It stands for Cho-Oils. However, my dad’s company operates in the bodywork industry. So they tried to put both firms together. It would be advantageous to have firms running in the same direction of economy.”  
She chuckled a bit and went on: “Though my father is really attached to the company since he built it by himself so he was refusing to sell the whole thing and rather they made a deal.”

Hangyul looked at her, mouth gaping open. “That you marry Seungyoun.” The words fell out this mouth slowly as he finally understood.

“Exactly. It’s all profound business. Strategy. Nothing more.” She leaned back crossing her arms.  
“I don’t love him. He doesn’t love me either. We live together but we have seperate bedrooms. We’re gonna keep this charade up until our parents retire and we’re finally free.”

“So you have a plan of how to get out of this?”

She nodded. “You could say so.”

Hangyul exhaled deeply. Suddenly everything he did to Seungyoun came to his mind and he felt so terribly sorry.

“It’s not as if you have a free will when you’re parents are such wealthy and famous people. I know it’s hard to understand but he _had_ to agree on this. There wasn’t a day he was honestly happy when spending it with me. Yeah, I assume we’re somewhat friends but not even close. The kiss at the ceremony was the first time he ever kissed me and I wouldn’t mind if it was the last one as well.”

He just listened to her, in his head already back at that shady hotel room, looking at his sorry face, looking at the tears.

Wooseok continued. “He wanted to call you so many times after this whole deal got decided. But I wouldn't let him. People were constantly watching us and there was know way we could let them know. Otherwise the marriage would have been blown off and it would all have become really dirty. As a compromise I suggested him to see you on the night before the wedding. I thought he might use the opportunity to explain it to you. I got you a room at a place no one knew him or me or my name. I thought you could talk there. In private.”

She chuckled.

“I wasn’t expecting him to show up with a black eye on our wedding day. But we took it with humor. Of course our parents were upset because of the guests and the press pictures but we didn’t care. They were literally pissed, it was so amazing.” She laughed and waved it off. 

“We thought it would give this play that certain something. Add even more drama. After the party we got home, everyone got in their own bed and since then we pretend to be on our honeymoon. Our parents think we’re out of town but he refused to leave. As long as we stay low it’s fine. A close friend of mine helps us getting groceries and all that. She knows about all of it but she is very loyal and reliable.”

She took a look at the small expensive looking watch on her wrist.  
“You must know he’s usually working on some project all day but just two hours ago he-”

She got interrupted by Hangyul’s phone that suddenly started buzzing in his pocket. Hangyul who got emotional during her speech, sniffed and apologized.

“I’m sorry, I’ll-”

Wooseok smiled generously: “Take it. I can wait.”

He went with his hand through his hair and breathed in deeply before he answered the call. 

“Yes?”

“Where are you?” Seungyoun’s voice sounded through the speaker. Thin and cracky, just as if he was somewhere with a very bad connection.

“Seungyoun?” In this condition he wasn’t sure if it really was him or if he just wanted it to be him. He squinted as if that would improve his hearing.

“Yeah, dumbass.” He hisked. “I’m at Dong Wook’s. Where are you?”

“Are you calling from the old man’s trashy fixed phone?” Hangyul asked as if that was the most important thing right now. Seungyoun called him for the first time after _months_ and that was literally all he wondered about.

“Who the fuck cares? Come over we have a score to settle with!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
Ehm... please don’t yell at me? 
> 
> |_-｡)
> 
> Fan-fictions are serious business. More or less.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[Let's chat!/Complaints/Rants](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)


	11. Epilogue

“Did you hear anything from him lately?”  
Hangyul shook his head. His eyes wandered slowly over the mountains in front of the window. It was drizzling since the early morning and it didn’t seem as if it would stop anytime soon. 

“He didn’t call or anything?”  
Hearing the word ‘call’ Hangyul reflexively checked his phone but there was no notification. No missed call. It was a quite dumb reaction, he had his phone with him all day so he would have noticed if he called.

“Why are you asking?” 

Dong Wook lowered the paper a bit and looked at him. “Hm? They just wrote about his company. It seems as if his parents sold all of their holdings so it’s just the two of them now. Even though the entire executive changed, their stocks are still stable. Seem like it’s going well.”

Hangyul shrugs and through his phone on to the sofa next to him. He hasn’t heard of him for months now. Why should he suddenly call just because his parents sold their holdings?  
“He’s maybe just busy.” Dong Wook sighs and went on reading as Hangyul mumbled:  
“I guess we just grew out of it.”

Dong Wook flipped the paper and hid behind it. “There are things things in life you grow out of but believe me, what you felt for each other was no such thing.”  
Hangyul snorted. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

***

“Are you adding cayenne?”

“No.” Hangyul answered his back facing the door. He stood by the stove and prepared lunch, while Dong Wook sat in the living room, looking over the scenery. The mountains didn’t lose anything of their charisma even after all those years.

“I know you’re adding cayenne. Stop that! You know I hate it.” Dong Wook muttered over from the living room and Hangyul put back the small bag of pepper he already had in hands. This man was developing some weird superpowers during his late days. He sighed. So it wouldn’t be spicy. Again.

If this phase of his friend would continue he would start cooking two versions of the same dish every day. Cayenne was just a nasty spice to use after cooking directly on the plate.

He stirred the curry while gazing out of the window lost in his thoughts.

It has been a while since he moved here. Shortly after his caretaker quit. Dong Wook didn’t ask him to come and live with him but Hangyul offered it. His place was getting too dark for him. Emotionally. 

As he still lived there he was in this kind of hidden relationship with Seungyoun:

He passed by the middle of the night and left early in the morning to get to work before everyone else did. Wooseok was fine with it. She managed her part of the firm and took care of the kids. She barely got to see her husband but she didn’t want to.

She had her lovers on the side, very discreet people. She enjoyed being married and in a stable situation but having space for herself and no strings towards her husband.

Seungyoun mostly went home after work. Early enough for dinner with his family and afterwards, when they put the kids down, he would head over to Hangyul’s and his old place. 

They usually had a second dinner, or at least a snack. They watched the news or some detective series, cuddled on the sofa and enjoyed each other’s company. Hangyuls et up this golden rule of Seungyoun not bringing work home so that they would only focus on the moment.

That was what their life looked like. 

The first few years it was fine. They all went on vacation together, spend christmas and birthdays as one. The kids new Hangyul as their uncle, not as their father’s indirect spouse.  
It was a happy life. Packed with compromises but who said it would be easy?

About two years ago things got complicated. The firm was facing a crisis and Seungyoun had to do a lot of public relations work. He neither had time for Hangyul, nor for his wife. The company got twisted into a series of major incidents channeling a lot of attention by the media. He had the press following him everywhere. 

By that time Seungyoun was miserable. He lost weight, worked to much and barely left his office.

That one day he snug out and tried to get to Hangyul’s place without attracting much attention but he failed exemplary. Someone followed him and so learned about the address. Thanks to Wooseok things got cleared up and Hangyul, now officially, took the role as the college friend and uncle.

By that time Dong Wook’s caretaker had to quit the job due to personal reasons so Hangyu offered to move in with him and do the duties around the house.

After they successfully published the work over which they met all those years ago, they became close friends and continued working together. Hangyul wrote everything under his own name, with the help of Lee Dong Wook. Which was mentioned nowhere.  
He got tired of the attention so he told his student it was his time to shine in the erotica community. 

And he did.

After he moved out, Hangyul didn’t hear much of Seungyoun. He understood that they had to lay low for a while until things calmed down but even afterwards, none of them picked up the touch again. Wooseok called from time to time, asking how the latest books were going and telling him about what the kids were doing. Apparently they were asking for him a lot lately.

It was spring so one of their birthdays came around so one day he found a letter in the mail. A birthday invitation and a hand drawn picture showing Hangyul with a house on a hill. 

Wooseok and he became friends over the years. She was openly enjoying reading his works so he usually send her a copy of whatever was new. Before it hit the market of course.

All together it was a good life. Single enough to do whatever he wanted and taken enough to not be alone. This way he had a family which maybe wasn’t his own but which he cared about just as much.

The doorbell sounded.

“Can you answer it?” The old man’s voice chimed through the open door and Hangyul sighed. He out down the whisk and dried his hands on the red plaid kitchen towel. 

“Sure.”

He shuffled to the front door, wearing an embarrassing apron and his glasses. As he unlocked the door and opened it, he needed a few seconds to fully grasp that it was _him_.

“Hi.” Seungyoun smiled sweetly and leaned a bit to one side.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the company?” Eversince the media showed up at his old place he got a little bit suspicious whenever Seungyoun suddenly showed up.

“No one followed me, don’t worry. I paid extra attention. I have some news for you, may I come in?”

Hangyul let him by and the door closed shut behind them. Standing in the hallway the two of them looked at each other. Hangyul having his hands propped up his hips and Seungyoun looking surprisingly healthy.

“What are the news?” He wasn’t in the mood for some nice little chit chat. Even though it was the first time he saw his boyfriend after a long time he was still a little mad that he never told him what was going on in his life during that time. He always had to learn it from Wooseok.

“I’m out.” Seungyoun said, exhaling deeply as if it took a huge load off his shoulders. 

Hangyul didn’t understand. “What do you mean by ‘you’re out’?”

“It means that I’m really sorry for not calling you all this time. I sold my shares on the company to Wooseok. She is the new official CEO, owning the whole thing. We got divorced in private this morning. Thanks to the prenup there weren’t any complications. My parents are probably freaking out but who cares. Kim Wooseok is now probably one of the best earning women in the country. At least one of the most powerful. What a picture.” Seungyoun chuckled, while Hangyul just listened.

“I have my stuff in the car. We can go wherever you want. I’m free for the first time in my life.”

Hangyul took a deep breath. “Ehm … I have curry on the stove so why don’t we just go to the kitchen and then take it from there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
So lastly he decided.  
Which leaves Wooseok being a successful, powerful and wealthy bad ass women.  
I'm so in love with that imagine.
> 
> There is no such thin as prediction.  
ಠ_ಠ  
Skaidridt  
[let's chat!](https://twitter.com/Skaidridt1)
> 
> Thanks for sticking until the end.


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